The Gravel Road
by GriffinStar
Summary: The difference one phone call could have made... set at the end of S3.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination**

**The Gravel Road**

**Chapter 1**

Martin looked in the mirror as he adjusted his tie - it was the brown patterned one that he knew to be one of Louisa's favourites. He was wearing his grey pin striped suit, also a favourite of Louisa's, which he'd had specially dry cleaned. A crisp white shirt and silver cufflinks completed his outfit, along with his highly polished black leather shoes. He'd taken extra care with his shower and shave today - being immaculately groomed always made him feel more confident, and he needed all the help he could get today in that department. But he hadn't had his hair cut as he'd been due to – he remembered that Louisa had commented a few times that she'd like to see it a little longer instead of so brutally short, so he'd postponed his trip to the barbers this time.

He checked the time – really it was still ages before he needed to leave to meet the train, but he'd rather leave early than run the risk of being late.

Her phone call a few days back had taken him completely by surprise. It had been nearly two months since they'd called off their wedding. Louisa had left straight away, gone to London – running away, some people had said. So he'd had weeks of going through the motions, putting on a front to carry on as normal, to hide how he felt underneath – something he was very good at, because he was, of course, highly practised at keeping his feelings secret. But the truth was that he just felt dead inside. Because not having Louisa in his life in any shape or form, not seeing her, having no contact with her whatsoever, not even hearing a tiny piece of gossip about her, meant that there was no light in his life anymore. To try to work out just where everything had gone so badly wrong between them, he'd read and re read countless times the letter that she'd handed to him and now he knew every word of it off by heart. The stupid thing was that all the assumptions she'd made in her letter about him and what he expected from their marriage were incorrect, and if only they'd sat down and talked things through, they could have worked things out, of that he was convinced now.

But of course he'd always been so unsure of why a beautiful, intelligent woman like Louisa had ever agreed to marry him in the first place. This meant that although he'd kept his nerve through almost all of the obstacles that had been put in his way on the day of their wedding, Reverend Porter had finally shattered his fragile confidence with his stupid trick question.

"What's the most important question you should ask yourself before getting married?" he'd asked, having pretty much blackmailed Martin in order to get him to examine his wretched pig.

"I have my finger in your pig's anus!" Martin had responded irritably.

"You want me to help you, be an idea to humour me," Reverend Porter had goaded him, clearly enjoying the sense of power he had over Martin, knowing as he did that he was desperate for him to perform the wedding ceremony.

"Does she make me happy?" Martin had answered through gritted teeth, not giving his answer a huge amount of thought, occupied as he was.

"Oh close. Very close. I would almost give you that," the vicar had replied, almost disappointed it had seemed to Martin. "Actually, got it the wrong way up. It's '_Do I make her happy_?' End of the day, that's what it's all about."

On analysing it later, Martin realised that the sick and warped mind of the man meant that whichever way he'd answered the question, he would have twisted it round to show that he shouldn't be getting married, hating both weddings and people the way that he did. But at the time, he'd regarded the vicar as the professional in his field, that he knew what he was talking about, and that he'd just proved that he wasn't fit to marry Louisa. Martin's solution to this was that he just not show up for their wedding, that would be the best thing for Louisa he'd decided, as he'd sat on his sofa, looking at the wedding ring that he'd been going to place on her finger. Stupid, stupid, stupid. But it was now far too late to try to sort anything out – Louisa was making a new life, a new career for herself in London. He'd blown it good and proper.

And then out of the blue one evening earlier in the week, his mobile had rung and her name had come up as the caller. He'd grabbed his phone to answer it before she had a chance to change her mind and ring off.

"Louisa!" he'd practically shouted into the phone.

"Oh err…yes…umm…Martin. How are you?" She'd sounded rather flustered, which he supposed was hardly surprising all things considered. But just hearing her voice was like giving a fix to a drug user, and in this instance he was the junkie. He closed his eyes so that he could drink her voice in.

"Yes, fine, good, and err…you?" he'd managed to reply.

"Yes, alright, you know…"

Then there was an awkward silence for a few seconds, as Martin had struggled to think of what to say next.

"And err...London, going well, your new job and so forth?"

"Well, it's certainly very different to Portwenn, that's for sure. Err…look Martin, there are some things we need to sort out, so I was wondering…do you think that we could …maybe we might... meet up? Of course I'll understand if you'd rather not." Louisa had sounded very hesitant, and Martin had realised that it couldn't have been easy for her to call him like this.

"Well, yes, I suppose there are some loose ends that we ought to get sorted out, aren't there?" he'd replied, thinking of the joint bank account they'd set up, the wedding gifts that had been left that he hadn't known what to do with, some things of hers that had been at his house, all that kind of thing. Of course she wasn't ringing to tell him she wanted him back, he wasn't expecting that, but any contact, like an oasis in the desert, was welcome to him.

"I thought maybe I could come down on the train and that it would be a good idea if maybe we met up somewhere quiet, out of the way, rather than in the village. I don't want to make even more gossip for you than undoubtedly you've already had to deal with."

"Oh, I don't care about that Louisa, bloody villagers just make up gossip when there isn't any anyway, so you're welcome to come here, to my house, that is… if you want to," Martin had offered. Anywhere was fine by him, anywhere at all. Just hearing her voice had made him desperate to see her again. Whenever Louisa called him, if there was ever the slightest hint that she needed him, whatever the reason, he came running. It had always been that way for him - always had been, and it seemed, always would be.

"No, I don't really think that would be a good idea, we'd be bound to be interrupted at your place – we always were in the past, weren't we?" Louisa had reminded him rather sadly, thinking of all the missed opportunities between them over the years.

"Yes, I suppose we were. So where would you suggest then?"

"Umm, well there is this pub up on the moor that's miles from anywhere, and no mobile signal either, so that might be a good place to meet up, it's always been deserted whenever I've been there," Louisa had suggested.

"Yes alright, when were you thinking of coming down then?"

"Are you free next Saturday, or have you got other plans?" Louisa had said tentatively.

"Next Saturday is fine," Martin had quickly agreed, knowing that, as usual, he had nothing at all planned for the weekend. But even if he had, he would have dropped whatever it was immediately, if it meant seeing Louisa.

"OK, well the pub is called 'The Coach and Four', you probably don't know where it is, but you can look it up I'm sure. How about I meet you there around lunchtime, I'll let you know a more exact time once I've looked up the trains, booked a taxi and so on," Louisa had suggested.

"Don't bother with a taxi, why don't I pick you up from the station, then you can direct me to this pub," Martin had offered.

"Fine, Ok, I'll let you know then. Bye Martin."

With that she'd hung up, and Martin had just sat there at his kitchen table for quite some time, just staring into space.

**xXx**

"Look Louisa, you've known for over a month now, so just when are you going to pick up your phone and bloody well ring Martin?" Holly pointed at Louisa's mobile that was on the kitchen table, where they were sitting having supper one evening in Holly's house.

"It's not that simple," Louisa tried to explain. The truth was, the longer she put it off, the longer she didn't have to deal with his rejection all over again, but she couldn't really tell Holly that.

"Of course it is. I can't understand why on earth you're dithering, since you're adamant you're going to go ahead anyway, no matter what anyone else says. At this rate the first the poor man will know about it is when he gets a letter from the Child Support Agency demanding maintenance money! Or maybe you're planning to just show up on his doorstep one day, six months pregnant and hope he gets the hint by the change in your figure?" Holly said in exasperation.

"Don't be ridiculous! I wouldn't do that to him, of course I wouldn't. It's just that, well I don't think he's going to find it welcome news, so I don't see that there is really any great rush to tell him."

"The longer you put it off, the harder it's going to be. Ring him, arrange to meet up, invite him up to London maybe, but I really don't think you should tell him your news over the phone."

"No, that wouldn't be very nice, would it? But I can't expect him to come all the way up here without telling him why, so maybe I could arrange to go down there," Louisa mused, thinking out loud.

The thought of a trip back to Cornwall was very appealing, because she was missing it terribly. London was not the fun, happening place she recalled from her college days. It just seemed crowded, dirty and impersonal to her. And she realised that she'd been rather hasty in leaving her Head Mistress role at Portwenn School. She was finding it very hard accepting that she had no say in how things were done at Holly's exclusive private school, and really in hindsight it hadn't been the greatest career move for her. But at the time she'd just wanted to get away from the village – and Martin.

"Yes, whatever, but just pick up the phone and DO IT!"

"You are _so_ bossy Holly! I'll think about it, maybe tomorrow when I've thought it through properly."

"Bullshit. You've had weeks to think about it, you're just prevaricating, and if you're not going to ring him, I am!"

With that, Holly snatched Louisa's phone from the table, easily finding Martin's number in the speed dial list even as Louisa jumped up and tried to grab her phone back. But Holly had already initiated the call, and was holding the phone up out of her reach as it rang. Once she heard Martin's voice answering, she triumphantly handed the phone back to Louisa with a big grin on her face.

"Just talk to him!" she mouthed at her before leaving the room.

**xXx**

It had meant an early start to catch the 7:30am train from London Paddington to Bodmin Parkway on Saturday morning, but now Louisa could sit back and relax for the four and a half hour journey. She'd brought a book, her ipod and some magazines to help pass the time, but somehow she couldn't settle to anything. She just kept going over in her mind what on earth she was going to say to Martin, how the heck was she going to tell him her news, and how he was going to react? She didn't know what to expect from him, but she certainly couldn't imagine any scenario where he'd be thrilled or pleased. And he would no doubt start analysing the medical facts of just how they'd managed to conceive a baby despite taking precautions – well nothing was 100% fail safe, and she just hoped he didn't try to blame her or think she had somehow allowed herself to get pregnant because she wanted a baby even if he didn't– she knew only too well how direct and harsh he could be. And no doubt he'd think a termination the most logical solution – which was not an option as far as she was concerned, so she hoped they weren't going to have a huge row about that. Then she sighed as she told herself to stop trying to second guess his reaction, she'd know soon enough now. And at least he would be informed, and she would then be free to get on with things with a clear conscience.

But despite all her misgivings, she couldn't help but be excited about seeing her Martin again – in her head she still thought of him in those terms. She'd missed him terribly, much more than she'd ever thought she would. She'd expected to throw herself into her new job and her new life in London and leave all her problems behind – but of course it hadn't worked out like that at all. It just wasn't possible to erase Martin from her mind. He was so unique, so special, so …_Martin_. No one else compared to him, came anywhere close to him in her estimation, he was head and shoulders above everyone else, and not just in a physical way. As she'd told him in her letter when they'd called off their wedding, she really did love him, she just didn't think they could make a go of things when they didn't want the same things out of marriage. In any case, he hadn't wanted to marry her either, so what was done was done for the best, she told herself, and she just had to try to remember him fondly while she got on with the rest of her life.

But that was proving impossible now that the suspicion that he'd left her with a hell of a lot more than just memories had been confirmed…

**xXx**

Martin looked at his watch for about the hundredth time. Five minutes now till her train was due in. He gripped the steering wheel of his car tightly, and took several deep breaths to calm his nerves, before opening the car door and stepping out into the damp and chilly December air.

He casually strolled over towards the station entrance, trying to exude an air of confidence that he wasn't feeling in the slightest.

Finally he could see the train approaching – it was only a small station, and he knew that the train would be coming into the nearest platform, just as his parents had when they'd visited. The train slowly, inexorably pulled in, and he watched the doors opening and scanned all the people stepping out to look for her, for that dark ponytail. And there she was, there could be no mistaking her; she was as beautiful, no, _more_ beautiful if that was possible, than he remembered. He saw her looking round, looking for him, and then saw her face light up as she spotted him and waved. His heart swelled with joy to know that she was looking for him, that he was the lucky man she'd come to meet. He raised his hand back in acknowledgement and then walked towards her.

All he could think at that moment was that he'd been such a bloody fool to have ever let her go. He should have followed his heart, and stopped her from leaving when she'd kissed his cheek and then walked away from him the last time he'd seen her. They could have worked things out between them he realised, having analysed her letter so many times and worked out her reasons for calling off their wedding. But now she'd got herself a whole new life and career in London, so what chance did he have of winning her back? He'd been insane to let her slip through his fingers before when he'd had the chance to marry her, why the hell had he been so stupid not to have tried harder with her?

"Hello Martin," she said, smiling up at him.

"Louisa," Martin said, as he took her bag and led her over to his car.

_To be continued._


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination**

**The Gravel Road**

**Chapter 2**

Louisa glanced over at Martin as he drove, trying to gauge his feelings, to read his expression, but as usual he was a closed book. He was wearing his normal slightly grumpy/cross look – he certainly didn't seem particularly pleased to see her. Lord, it was going to be hard to tell him her news, she was feeling pretty nervous about how to tell him, not helped by the fact that she was feeling pretty queasy - breakfast on the train seemed a very long time ago.

"So, how's village life? Everyone keeping you as busy as ever?" Louisa tried to break the ice with him, but didn't want to risk talking about anything too personal or wedding related.

"Same bloody annoying lot, just seem intent on wasting my time, as usual," Martin replied, concentrating on the narrow, twisty moors road. Although his car had an inbuilt sat nav, the signal reception was patchy at best, so he was following her directions.

"How's Joan? Keeping well?" Louisa tried again. He certainly wasn't making this easy, was he?

"She's fine, just fine. So…umm… what time train are you planning to catch back?" He wanted to know how long he'd got with her.

"Actually I've booked a room at the Coach and Four, they do B & B so that's why I've brought an overnight bag. I couldn't face the long journey twice in the same day," Louisa informed him, as she thought to herself '_So he can't wait to get rid of me, even though I've only just arrived. I hoped he might have been just a little bit pleased to see me; we didn't part on bad terms after all'._

"Ah right, I see." He inwardly heaved a sigh of relief, because if she'd been going straight back they'd have had very little time together. He'd wondered why she'd brought such a large bag with her, but then women's bags were a complete mystery to him in any case.

Louisa decided to give up and wait until they reached the pub to talk to him, so she looked out of the window instead, admiring the scenery and just glad to be back in Cornwall.

Martin stole a glance at her, finding it hard to believe that she was really here with him, sitting next to him in his car. And now he knew she wasn't rushing off again, he could relax a little.

They reached the Coach and Four pub, and Martin could see what Louisa had meant about it being remote. There were no other buildings in sight, just acres of rolling moor and when he checked his phone, it had no signal at all. Perfect for an uninterrupted conversation, hopefully.

They walked into the pub, Louisa carrying her overnight bag, Martin carrying a folder of paperwork that he'd brought to go through with her. Inside, it was deserted, there was no one else there at all. The landlord greeted them - he was a balding, middle aged man with a moustache. He was wearing jeans with braces, which were struggling to keep his jeans up over his protruding beer gut.

"You must be Louisa Glasson, you've booked a room for tonight haven't you?" The landlord greeted her with a smile.

"Can't imagine how you worked that one out," muttered Martin sarcastically, looking round the empty pub with its orangey red walls, dark beams, dark wood furniture and flagstone floor.

"That's right, we spoke on the phone the other night I think," Louisa replied, ignoring Martin's comment.

"Yes, I recognised your beautiful Cornish accent straight away, knew you was a local lass, didn't I? And I must say, you're even more beautiful in the flesh than you sounded on the phone," the landlord told her.

"Oh please…" Martin scoffed as he raised his eyebrows, but then he bit back any further retorts when he saw the warning look on Louisa's face, and remembered that he really ought to be on his best behaviour.

The Landlord got her room key and called for the lad helping him behind the bar to come and take Louisa's bag and show her up to her room.

"I won't be a minute Martin, I'll just go and quickly freshen up and then we can order some lunch – I'm starving actually." Louisa told him.

"Fine, I'll just order us some drinks then – glass of white wine for you?" Martin offered.

"Ah no, just an orange juice please," Louisa called back as she disappeared towards the stairs leading up to the guest rooms.

**xXx**

Louisa sat on the bed in her room for a moment, collecting her thoughts. All she'd wanted to do when she'd first seen Martin was to give him a big hug, and feel his arms around her. He looked better than ever, so smart and so tall. But she couldn't. Not that she thought he would have objected, she remembered only too well how he enjoyed her touch, but with what she had to tell him, the last impression she wanted to give was that she was somehow trying to seduce him to get him back. He wouldn't want her back anyway, especially not in the condition she was in, of that she was certain. She suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of tiredness sweeping over her. She was fed up of always having to put a brave face on things, and she felt dangerously close to bursting into tears. Must be her bloody hormones; of course it had nothing to do with seeing Martin and feeling all over again her keen sense of loss…

Downstairs Martin was sat waiting at a table in the corner, looking out over the moor. He'd chosen the most private table that he could find, as a few more people had now entered the pub, but it was still very quiet. He'd glanced at the menu, decided that he would have the sea bass, and thought that Louisa would probably go for the chicken salad. He looked up as she joined him.

He couldn't help staring at her. Now that she'd taken her coat off, he could see that she was wearing jeans, her red checked blouse and a red cardigan. Her dark, glossy hair was now loose, and tumbled down over her shoulders. She looked stunning, even though she was simply attired. He cleared his throat and managed to stop staring at her. He passed a menu to her as she sat down opposite him.

"I'm going to try the sea bass, what about you?"

"Hmm, think I'll go for the chicken salad," Louisa replied, causing Martin to smile to himself, because he had correctly predicted her choice.

The landlord came and placed some bread rolls on the table and then took their order. Martin watched in astonishment as Louisa grabbed a roll and proceeded to wolf it down with no ceremony. She saw his look, and apologised,

"Sorry, I'm starving, I had to leave pretty early this morning, and you know what the catering is like on the trains these days," she explained. Truth was if she didn't eat little and often, she felt pretty sick, and she didn't want to start throwing up in front of Martin right now.

"No, well, good to see you have a healthy appetite," Martin told her, thinking to himself '_No sign of her pining away then, in fact she looks the picture of health, blooming actually. London life must be agreeing with her. If anything she's put a little weight on in certain areas.' _He hadn't been able to help noticing that the buttons of her blouse were straining across her bust.

"Do you mind if we eat before we discuss anything?" Louisa said, looking at the ominous looking file that Martin had brought in with him.

"No, of course not. If you haven't got to rush back to catch a train today, we can take our time."

"I'm sorry, I didn't meant to assume…that is if you need to get back…"

"No. it's fine, really."

They were tiptoeing around each other, both feeling rather awkward.

Luckily the food came quite quickly and they both tucked into their meals.

"How's the sea bass then?"

"Not bad – your salad OK?"

"Yes, fine thanks."

They continued with their polite but meaningless chatter until they'd finished their meal, then they relaxed over cheese and biscuits. Martin had coffee, but Louisa ordered tea as she couldn't stand the taste or smell of coffee at the moment, although she did feel much better now that she had eaten.

"So, how's the new job going at Polly's school? Must be exciting for you, living in London, new challenges and all that," Martin enquired.

Louisa smiled at Martin getting Holly's name wrong – he really was hopeless with names, but somehow it didn't irritate her as it would have done previously, in fact she found it quite endearing. She found that she couldn't bring herself to lie and pretend that her new life in London was all hunky dory.

"Oh, I don't know, London isn't all it's cracked up to be sometimes," she replied, with a sad little smile on her face.

"But your new job…?" Martin looked closely at her, slightly puzzled. He'd assumed that everything would be going really well for her; it never occurred to him that she might not be enjoying her new life.

Louisa could feel herself close to tears again, so she took a deep breath to calm herself.

"Well, you know…" she replied evasively, toying with a teaspoon in her cup of tea.

"No, I don't, so tell me about it," Martin insisted. This was important. Maybe there was just a tiny chink of light for him if Louisa _wasn't_ happy in London.

"OK, if you must know, I hate it! I wish…oh it doesn't matter what I wish, what's done is done, and I just have to make the best of it. I'll find something else, I can't stay at Holly's school because...well anyway, none of this is your problem Martin. So what have you got in your folder there for us to sort out?" Louisa tried to change the subject. Somehow she _still_ couldn't bring herself to tell him what she had really come to say.

"Well, what will you do? Would you ever consider coming back…coming back to Cornwall?" Martin ignored her attempt to change the subject. This was far more important, and he held his breath as he waited for her answer.

"Not an option is it? They've filled my position as Head Teacher at Portwenn, and not many vacancies come up in Cornwall at that level, so I suppose I'll just have to see what else is around."

"What if…say for example things weren't working out with your replacement at Portwenn?"

"What do you mean Martin? Have you heard something?"

"I really can't say anything I'm afraid. However, if you were to ring Stu Mackenzie and tell him that you'd be interested should they need a cover for the Head Teacher post , you may not have to wait all that long."

Stu Mackenzie had come to see Martin, worried about reports from staff at the school that the new Head teacher, Mr. Strain, was showing some extremely worrying unstable behaviour, and they wanted him to be declared medically unfit for the post. Of course this was confidential and he couldn't tell Louisa any of it, but he could point her in the right direction. Stu had dropped several pointed hints to Martin about what a shame it was that Miss Glasson, the best Head Teacher they'd ever had, had had to leave _her_ village, as had numerous other villagers over the past few weeks. He was certain they'd welcome her back with open arms.

"Well, surely _you_ wouldn't really want me back in the village? We know it would never have worked between us don't we, so wouldn't it be rather awkward if I were to come back?"

"We're both adults, so I'm sure we could work something out. And you were wrong you know Louisa. What you said, in your letter. What you assumed I wanted – or rather _didn't _want from our marriage," Martin told her quietly, as he now played with a biscuit nervously.

"What do you mean Martin? Anyway, you didn't want to marry me either, planned to leave me high and dry at the altar as I recall, how embarrassing would that have been? Just as well I didn't turn up…"

"Yes well, maybe that was an error of judgement I realise now. Your letter, the one you brought round that day, do you remember what you wrote in it?"

"Yes of course I do. That because we had such different expectations about our marriage, it could never have worked between us."

"Because you wanted a family, babies and all that kind of thing."

"Yes, that's right, that was one of the main reasons."

"And you assumed that I didn't."

"Yes, of course, everyone knows that you hate kids, Martin, you've never made any secret of it."

"Well maybe I hate other people's children yes, most of them are pretty vile and disgusting. But then again, I hate most other people's wives, but that didn't mean that I didn't want _you_ as my wife."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you think you should have at least asked _me_ how I felt about having a family rather than making assumptions based on village gossip? And don't you think it was rather high handed of you to assume that I wouldn't want to be Godparent to your friends' baby that I'd just delivered? You said that you'd make an excuse for me, as if I was something to be ashamed of, you never thought to check with me first did you? And don't you think I realised that you would want children, that you would make a lovely mother, that it would be cruel to deny you that opportunity? Was it that you thought I'd make a dreadful parent, that I'm not suitable father material? Or maybe you realised that you didn't want us to have a baby, in case it turned out to be like me?"

Louisa sat and listened in astonishment at the words that were pouring out of Martin's mouth. She'd never heard him open up in such a way about how he felt before.

"Martin, I had no idea…"

"No, because you never asked me did you?"

"Yes, but you called off the wedding too don't forget, because you said I wouldn't make you happy either," Louisa pointed out defensively.

"Because I've always found it hard to believe that you did truly…love me, but then afterwards when I read your letter it said that you really did, despite calling the wedding off. But at that moment I believed that you couldn't possibly love me enough to put up with a notoriously difficult man like me, that you deserved a better man. But if your main reason for not wanting to marry me was because you thought I wouldn't have agreed to have a baby with you, well, you were wrong. Although I think it only fair to point out that statistically, the odds would have been very highly stacked against us managing to conceive a child at our ages. The medical fact is that after the age of thirty five, a woman's fertility is significantly reduced, and to further compound the problem, a number of studies have also shown that those women with a partner five years older or more face additional difficulties, due to the fact that a man's sperm quality declines with age. Therefore I think it only logical to conclude that there really would have been a very high chance of us being unable to have children in any case, due to fertility issues."

"There wouldn't have been. Fertility issues I mean," Louisa told him with a wry little smile.

"You can't know that for sure Louisa."

"Yes I can, because…"

"Because what?"

"Because I'm pregnant Martin. That's what I've come to tell you. I'm going to have our baby." The words were finally out, finally spoken out loud to him, after weeks of turmoil trying to decide the best way to tell him, it was done.

"What? Pregnant? Are you sure? But how…when…?" It was clear to Louisa that Martin was taken completely by surprise with her news, he'd had no inkling of it at all, and appeared absolutely flummoxed.

"Yes, I'm sure, and I think you know the 'how' Martin. I can only assume that we had a condom failure, they're not 100% reliable after all, are they? And by how many weeks I am, it was most likely the first time we…."

"Bloody hell! What are the chances…? The very first time…?" Martin asked her incredulously.

Louisa looked intently at Martin's aghast face, and all she could see there was shock – and horror. No pleasure or joy.

"You must have very determined and persistent little….that's all I can say, nothing wrong with _their_ quality it would seem, and obviously I'm not quite as decrepit and past my sell by date as you seem to think either. And before you say anything else Martin, let me tell you that I _am_ going to go ahead and have this baby, God willing, whatever you say. Don't worry though, it's alright, you don't have to feel obliged to me, I'm more than capable of raising this child on my own."

"Have you not been listening to a word I've been saying?" Martin interrupted her.

"Yes, that had we gone ahead and got married you might _possibly _have agreed for us to try for a baby, but you assumed that we'd have major fertility issues, so in other words, realistically you thought the chances of us having a baby were really pretty remote. But now you're confronted with the reality, I can see that you're hardly thrilled…"

"Now wait a minute, that's hardly fair Louisa, this has come as a complete bolt out of the blue for me," Martin protested.

"No, it's alright, You don't have to pretend to be pleased, really it's fine, you've been informed, which is all I really came to do."

With that, Louisa jumped up and walked off towards the stairs to her room in the pub. She didn't want him to see that she was about to burst into tears.

"Louisa! Please don't walk away from me again! Please, just come back!" Martin pleaded, horrified that yet again he was about to lose her.

Louisa was stopped in her tracks by the note of desperation in Martin's voice. She realised in an instant that he was just as scared and frightened as she was – and just as vulnerable.

So she turned around and then slowly walked back. The tears were streaking her cheeks as she down at the table again, so Martin took his hanky from his pocket to gently wipe them away.

"I have to tell you that I was wrong about you, about everything. And that you were wrong about leaving," Martin told her emotionally.

"Oh was I now? So you think I should come back do you?"

"Yes I do. We should have tried harder to work things out between us, not given up so easily, and now that there's going to be a baby, surely it's even more important than ever that we try to work things out," Martin stated without hesitation.

"I don't know Martin, this isn't how I expected things to go to be honest." She'd never dared to let herself even begin to think that Martin would ever want her back, or would want to be involved with the baby.

"But you're not rejecting the idea of us trying to work things out are you?" Martin asked hopefully.

"No, I suppose I'm not. So, how do you feel about becoming a father then?" Louisa asked tentatively.

"Honestly? Scared rigid. I think it's going take a quite a while for your news to sink in, for me to get used to the idea, but I'll just have to won't I? How are you feeling anyway? Have you had a check up, are you taking care of yourself?"

"Yes, I've had a check up, and I'm fine Martin, just a bit queasy sometimes. And I'm already expanding in certain areas…" she looked down at her chest and wiggled herself.

"Umm, yes, I had noticed actually," Martin told her, staring at the area in question.

"Martin!"

"Well I am trained to observe any changes in a patient's anatomy you know," he explained with a little smile as he reached over to take her hand in his. "Look, I know you probably think I'll make a crap father, and I admit that I've never been very good with babies…"

"You could learn, couldn't you?" Louisa offered, realising that she needed to encourage him, to help him to overcome his lack of confidence, and believe that he could be a good father.

"Yes, I could," Martin replied with more conviction than he actually felt, knowing that he had to convince Louisa if he was to stand any chance of persuading her to move back to the village to be with him.

Louisa looked at Martin, the father of her baby, the man she still loved, and she finally allowed herself a little ray of hope that maybe he _was_ prepared to give fatherhood a go. So she leant over the table to kiss Martin on the lips, as she had once before some time ago. This time however, Martin was completely sober and wide awake as he leant over to deepen their kiss, and it started to develop into a very intense and passionate kiss indeed…

They were interrupted by the landlord coughing as he brought the bill over and raised his eyebrows at them.

"It was a _double_ room you're booked into, you know," he winked at Louisa.

"Oh right, yes, thank you, I did notice that," Louisa replied blushing, as Martin got his wallet out and put some money down on the table to pay for their lunch.

"Right..well.." Martin looked at Louisa, unsure of what the next move was going to be between them.

She smiled at him, took his hand and then led him towards the stairs to her room...

_To be continued _


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination**

**The Gravel Road**

**Chapter 3**

Martin closed the bedroom door behind him and then leant against it as he looked across the room at Louisa.

For a moment neither spoke, as they both took in the unreality of the situation. From being hundreds of miles apart and not on speaking terms, they were now alone together, in a bedroom, having just kissed.

Louisa slowly came over to Martin.

"Can I ask you to do something for me?" she whispered, as she looked up at him.

"Of course you can."

"Will you just hold me? I _really_ need a hug from you."

"I think I could manage that," he whispered back, taking her in his arms and holding her to him.

"Oh that feels so good," she murmured as she felt his arms engulfing her, making her feel safe and secure for the first time in such an age. It felt wonderful as he held her, even better than she remembered. She wasn't really sure exactly how things stood between them, but for now she decided to just relax and enjoy the moment.

Martin closed his eyes as he held her and gently rocked her. It hardly seemed possible that he was holding her in his arms, and he didn't want the moment to end, worried that he'd wake up and find it was all a dream.

Slowly, Louisa started nuzzling his neck, causing him to utter a little low moan, and pull her even closer against him.

"Oh Louisa," he whispered, finding himself completely under her spell as she turned her face up to him, inviting him to kiss her by curling her arm around his neck and pulling him down to her.

He started to kiss her, but then hesitated and pulled back.

"Louisa, are you really sure about this? I mean…you do know where this is leading, don't you?" Martin looked over at the bed, which rather dominated the small room. Self doubt had crept in again, so he needed to check that he wasn't mistaken about her intentions, that he hadn't misread the signals, and that he wasn't about to make a complete fool of himself.

"Oh Martin, don't spoil things! I wouldn't have brought you up here to my room if I wasn't aware of…you know... where things would end up," Louisa told him, as she pulled him back to her and kissed him again. Then she undid his tie, slid it off and started unbuttoning his shirt. He was left in no doubt whatsoever about her intentions now.

Martin finally relaxed and decided to take Bert's advice from a long time ago and just 'go with the flow'.

**xXx**

Louisa sighed contently, cuddling up to Martin as they lay together in bed, both glowing in the aftermath of their lovemaking.

"At least we didn't have to worry about condoms this time," Louisa pointed out.

"No, bit late for all that now." Martin agreed. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined that this would be how today would turn out - in bed, with Louisa, having learnt that he was going to be a father. Thinking again about this news made him ask,

"Why didn't you contact me as soon as you found out that you were pregnant? You must have known for a few weeks now."

Martin was starting to put together the sequence of events since Louisa had left. If it had indeed been the first time they'd made love that she'd conceived this baby, then she must have suspected she was pregnant fairly soon after arriving in London. Tests were very accurately from an early stage, so she must have known for a while before getting round to telling him.

"I suppose…I though you'd be angry…and…"

"What?"

"I thought you'd be very keen for me to have an abortion, especially in the very early weeks when all you have to do is take a pill. And I just couldn't bear the thought of you telling me that you wanted to 'terminate', or 'get rid' of our baby. That was never an option as far as I was concerned, I knew instantly that I wanted this precious baby more than anything, especially when you consider what a long shot it was that I even got pregnant in the first place – so how could I possibly think of aborting our child," Louisa told him emotionally, as she placed her hand on her belly protectively.

"I really wish you hadn't made those assumptions about me with regard to having an abortion. I actually feel very humbled and honoured by the fact that you feel so strongly about wanting to have my baby, and of course I will give you my full support if you will only let me. So what you're saying is that you hoped that by not telling me in the early stages, it would be too late for me to suggest an abortion by the time I did find out? In that case, what made you ring me now? After all, technically an abortion is still possible – not that I'm in _any _way suggesting that at all," he hurriedly reassured her.

"It was Holly actually, she kind of forced my hand. Grabbed my phone and rang you before I could stop her," Louisa confessed.

"You mean that we have Holly to thank for us being here now? I must say I'd never have expected that," Martin pondered. He'd always had Holly down as a rather stuck up bitch, rather than the interfering social worker type.

"She's been on at me for ages to ring you. She initially thought I should have a termination, but she respected my decision to go ahead with the pregnancy once I explained to her that abortion simply wasn't an option for me, that this baby is a special gift as far as I'm concerned, however crap the timing. Especially at my ripe old age, as you so tactfully pointed out earlier."

"Well, when would you have told me if she hadn't intervened then? Am I really that scary that you felt you couldn't face telling me that I'd got you pregnant?" Martin demanded to know.

"I don't really know and actually yes, you are scary sometimes Martin, bloody scary. And anyway, I've been worried that I might miscarry or something would go wrong, and then I'd have got you involved for no good reason."

"For goodness sake Louisa, I would _never_ have pressurised you to have an abortion, what kind of a monster do you think I am? And it's not a sign of weakness to ask for help you know, of course I'm willing to support you if you'll just let me, and even if something like a miscarriage were to occur, I would look after you, you really should have…"

He was stopped mid rant by Louisa kissing him on the lips.

"I'm sorry alright? We've both been stupid fools for all sorts of reasons," she told him.

"Come back to Portwenn. Let me look after you and this... our… baby. Stop shutting me out," Martin pleaded with her as he returned her kiss and gently placed his hand over hers on her belly.

"It's not that straight forward though is it? We've both got a lot of baggage and so many issues. Don't forget, you didn't want to get married either in the end, remember?"

"Look I was a bloody fool before, I just let that stupid vicar get to me," Martin said in frustration.

"Which vicar? The one you nobbled or the other replacement one?"

"I _didn't_ nobble the first vicar, he was an alcoholic for God's sake! No, that bloody psycho replacement vicar, the one that virtually blackmailed me to get him to agree to perform the ceremony."

"So you're telling me that when you went to see Reverend Porter, he only agreed to perform the wedding ceremony if you…?"

"If I agreed to examine his stupid pig. Told him I wasn't a vet, but he insisted. So there I was, ankle deep in pig shit, with my finger up a pig's arse trying to sort out a rectal prolapse, when he starts banging on about 'What's the most important question I should ask myself before I got married?'."

Louisa had a fit of giggles as she tried to picture the scene. Martin, one of the most fastidious men she had ever come across, having to examine a pig's backside.

"So what happened then?" she managed to ask, before a new fit of giggles overtook her.

"Well when I didn't answer him, due to the fact that I was somewhat busy working on this wretched pig's anus, he started getting all shirty with me. He said that I should humour him if I wanted him to help me, so I quickly replied without really thinking about it with 'Does she make me happy?'."

"Good answer," Louisa told him as she kissed his neck, still giggling at the thought of the pig's nether regions being ministered to by Martin.

"No, it wasn't, according to him. He said that I was _nearly_ right, but that the correct answer should have been 'Do I make _her _happy?'"

"Well that's pretty much the same thing surely, because it's all about making each other happy isn't it? You do know he's barking mad? Flipped in the middle of a wedding service one time over at Delabole, had some sort of a breakdown because he had such a phobia about people getting married. He had to be quietly retired off with his pigs up on the moor, out of people's way."

"I know that now, but at the time I thought that he was the professional, the expert on the subject of marriage, so I suppose he got to me when all the other 'doubters' hadn't."

"What others?"

"Well first there was Roger Fenn, asking me if I was really sure that I knew what I was doing. Then Penhale arrested the florist and Auntie Joan said it was bad luck to have a wedding without flowers. The bloody dry cleaner told me how his wife tried to change him and then divorced him after getting married at the same church. Oh and of course, Reverend Counter turning out to be an alcoholic, that was a good omen too."

"Oh you poor thing, and then on top of all that having to deliver your first baby as well," Louisa sympathised as she nuzzled against his chest.

"Yes, that too. And then it just hit me, that I was being selfish in expecting you to be happy to be married to a grumpy bugger like me. After that you came round, and said more or less the same thing."

"No, I didn't! I just thought that we could never be happy together if we had opposing views about having a family. And I suppose I'd had my share of negative comments throughout the day too, which had probably got to me if I'm honest. I'm sure Mrs Tishell thought her prayers had been answered when Reverend Counter got carted off to hospital, she certainly couldn't wait to come round to tell me about it."

"Yes, and you seemed to think I'd done it on purpose, 'subconsciously sabotaging our wedding', I think you suggested."

"Well I didn't know at the time that you were prepared to put your precious surgeon's fingers up a pig's backside just so that our wedding could go ahead - which makes it all the more sad that you changed your mind at the last minute. All that effort – for nothing," Louisa said ruefully.

"So marry me now. Then it won't all have been for nothing," Martin stated, thinking that this was the sensible and logical solution and made perfect sense.

"Oh Martin, don't you see? We rushed into getting married before, and then I made another hasty decision when I left for London straight away. Just rushing into this again would be another really bad idea. I want us to take our time to think things through properly for once, to be sensible and logical. Surely you can see that, you of all people."

"No, I don't, because as I see it, we made an error by not getting married in the first place, so we would simply be putting right our mistake. Especially now that…well, events have overtaken us somewhat. I think it's preferable for a child to be born in wedlock, however old fashioned that may sound," Martin tried to explain.

"Yes, it is very old fashioned, rushing into getting married just because I'm pregnant. There's no-one holding a shotgun to your head Martin. It's really not a requirement these days; you don't have to be married to have a baby you know."

"Well Louisa, you're making it pretty obvious that you _don't_ want us to get married – so what happens now? This, us, what's just happened between us means nothing then? You can't deny that we're good together, can you?"

"I certainly can't deny that we're good together in bed, but that's not enough to base a marriage on is it? I need time to think things through calmly, as do you, if you think about it logically."

"So I just have to bugger off while you make your mind up about what exactly it is you want? I just have to wait and see, is that it?" Martin summarised the situation as he saw it in a rather bitter tone of voice. He was extremely disappointed by her attitude, because as far as he was concerned, he'd thought things were sorted between them, seeing as how they'd ended up in bed together having terrific sex. How could something so right not mean that they should be together?

"No, Martin, that's not what I said at all. Let's just take things one step at a time, see how things go. I've got a lot to think about, and so have you. You've only just found out that I'm pregnant, which you have to realise changes everything. Getting back together will be a whole different kettle of fish now, Are you sure you want to take on being a father, coping with a baby, having lots of disturbed nights and everything else having a baby entails? It'll be far worse than being disturbed by my alleged snoring that you made such a fuss about, as I recall. You really do need to go away and think things through."

"I don't need to think about things. I _know_ what I want even if you don't, Louisa. I'm just going to take a quick shower, then I'll be on my way - leave you to 'think about things' as much as you need to."

With that Martin jumped up, gathered up his clothes and headed for the tiny shower room.

"Martin, wait…" Louisa called after him. Oh why did he have to take it that way, as if she was rejecting him?

When he came out, he was fully dressed. He sat on the edge of the bed to put his shoes on, and started talking to her as if he was her doctor rather than her lover. The protective mask was back in place, and he was a closed book to her again.

"What time train are you catching tomorrow to return to London?" he enquired, in a very business like manner.

"The 11:05am from Bodmin Parkway, no changes with that one, and it means I won't be back too late, I've got work first thing Monday morning…" Louisa explained, trying to see his face, to catch his eye, but he wouldn't look at her.

"Then I'll be here tomorrow morning to take you to the station. Bye Louisa," Martin said, as he quickly pecked her cheek and then left the room, shutting the door firmly behind him.

"But Martin..." Louisa tried to call him back, but it was too late, he'd gone.

Louisa lay back in the bed and let out a big sigh. Everything was black and white to Martin, with no shades in between. But she really wanted to be sure this time round that they were making the right decision - she had their child's future to consider as well as their own now, and being caught up in an unhappy marriage would be far worse than being brought up by a single mother, in her opinion.

Well what had she expected? Things were never going to be easy with Martin, were they?

_To be continued._


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination**

**The Gravel Road**

**Chapter 4**

Martin left Louisa's room and stomped off downstairs in a foul mood. As he reached the bottom of the stairs and walked into the pub, the landlord looked up at him.

"Leaving already? Got to get back to umm… _someone else_?" he suggested, with a knowing look and a wink. It was quite obvious to him that Martin was a married man, obviously with a bob or two from the cut of his expensive suit, here to enjoy a bit of hanky panky with his beautiful younger mistress. Seen it time and again he had, and knew all the signs, that shifty look and the stolen kiss whilst ensconced at a table hidden away in the corner. Helped pass the time for him it did, people watching and working out the little stories being enacted in his pub.

"Mind your own business!" snarled Martin, in no mood for innuendo.

"Ooh, lovers tiff eh? If you want my advice, I wouldn't take a chance with a gorgeous woman like that. No, best just to apologise even if you've got no idea what it is you've done wrong, otherwise someone else will snap up a beauty like her. You mark my words, I see it all the time. This place is very popular with folk for secret liaisons, if you catch my drift, what with it being so out of the way, and incommunicado. No, just say sorry, and give her a pretty trinket to appease her, or a nice big bunch of flowers, that usually does the trick in my experience," the landlord told him as he tapped the side of his nose knowingly.

"Shut up, you officious little oaf! Keep your unwanted advice and inaccurate opinions to yourself!" Martin bellowed at him, as he strode out of the pub and made his way to his car.

The landlord's eyes nearly popped out of his head at Martin's words, as he watched him disappear out of the door.

"I was only trying to help the miserable bugger. She's better off without him, in fact I'd say she's had a lucky escape from that tosser," he muttered to himself as he shook his head disbelievingly at the ingratitude of some people.

Martin sat in his car and rested his head against the wheel for a moment, trying to gather himself together. His emotions had see-sawed through nervousness, shock, disbelief, happiness, desire, ecstasy, hope, and finally disappointment, all in the space of an afternoon. He started to drive, and without really thinking about it, he found himself pulling up outside Joan's farm.

By now it was early evening and it had got dark. Joan saw the headlights of his car as he parked up and opened the door to him.

"Hello Marty. And to what do I owe the pleasure of your company then, hmm?" she enquired, reaching up to peck his cheek as he bent down to greet her.

"Nothing – do I have to have a reason to drop by? Can't I just call in to say hello?" Martin replied defensively.

"Of course you can, but you never do, do you? Oh well, never mind, come on in, I'll put the kettle on. Have you eaten, or can I get you something?" Joan asked, as she ushered her nephew into the kitchen where he plonked himself down at her table.

"Err no, I've already eaten earlier actually. I had lunch out. With Louisa." Martin tried to say it casually, but Joan wasn't fooled for a minute. She looked at his face to read his expression as only she was really able to. He'd put on a mask of indifference, but his eyes gave the game away to her. She could see that he was deeply upset and confused, that much was plain to her, so she trod very carefully.

"Oh, I see. How come?" she asked gently as she sat down opposite him, bringing with her a pot of tea and two mugs.

"She rang me. Asked if we could meet up, said we had some things to sort out. So we met up today, in a pub in the back of beyond, miles from anywhere," he explained.

"Right. And how did the meeting go?" Joan prompted him, as he now just sat there nursing his steaming mug of tea, staring into the distance.

"I thought we just had some paperwork to go through, stuff to give back, that kind of thing," he told her.

"But there was more to it than that, I take it?" Joan enquired.

"Oh yes, there most certainly was. One hell of a lot more to it than that," Martin replied with feeling, but then stared again into the distance.

"Well what then? Come on, out with it. Spill the beans, get it off your chest for goodness sake!" Joan told him irritably.

Martin finally focussed his attention on his aunt, and heaved a big sigh.

"She's expecting," Martin confessed.

"Expecting what?" Joan hadn't got a clue what he was talking about.

"A baby," Martin clarified for her.

"Oh Martin!" Joan's hand shot up to her mouth in disbelief, but also joy at the thought of a baby.

"It's not my fault!" Martin protested, as if he was a guilty teenager.

"Oh." Joan was crestfallen, as she took this to mean that the baby wasn't his.

"I mean it _is_ my fault, but it's not _just_ my fault." Martin was trying to explain that yes, it _was_ his baby, but they had both been equally responsible for its conception.

"Well surely you of all people knew to use…you know!"

"Of course, and we did. But it would seem that we had a failure. It happens." Martin replied testily. After he'd proposed that afternoon, he'd gone back to his surgery to finish up and put the defibrillator on charge. He'd promised to return to Louisa's as soon as he could, encouraged by her whispered suggestion to 'bring back some you know... _protection_' with him, which he had from his standard NHS box of supplies that he kept to hand out when required. Of course, bloody cost cutting exercises meant that the latest batch were from a different, cheaper supplier, and it was now apparent that they must have been of a sub standard quality.

"So how do you feel about becoming a father?"

"Me?"

"Yes you Martin! What are you going to do?"

"Well that's rather up to Louisa. I've asked her to come back, to marry me, but she says that she needs time to think about 'things', that she doesn't want to rush into anything. But what is there to think about? Either she wants to come back and marry me or she doesn't, it's quite simple I'd have said," Martin stated resentfully.

"Oh, right." Joan could see the picture quite clearly now. Martin had obviously expected Louisa to jump at his proposal as she had last time – but she hadn't, so he now felt hurt and rejected.

"Well I expect she's rather confused at the moment, her body's teeming with hormones after all. And she's only just moved up to London, to her swanky new job. And no doubt she remembers that you didn't turn up for the wedding either, so you can hardly blame her for being a bit cautious can you? But she didn't actually reject you outright and say 'no', did she?"

"No, but she told me she hates her new job in London, so it's not as if that's keeping her there. And I admitted to her that I made a mistake about not turning up for our wedding."

"Did you actually tell her that you love her, Martin?" Joan gently asked him.

"Well, no, not in so many words, but she must know, it's obvious, certainly when we were…."

He closed his eyes as he recalled how only just a short while ago he'd been making love to Louisa, calling out to her as he'd reached his moment of glorious release. He'd never felt that close, never experienced that kind of a special bond with anyone before, and he'd thought she understood that in a way mere words could never express. It hadn't been just sex - not for him.

Joan looked at the expression on Martin's face and guessed at what had gone on between the pair of them this afternoon.

"But have you ever actually said the words out loud to her?"

"Oh come on, you know that's not my kind of thing, and so does Louisa. I offered to do the right thing by her and the baby, and all she can say is that she'll think about it, and that I should do the same. She clearly thinks I'd be a bad father to the baby."

"Bollocks! You'd make a wonderful father given half the chance. You know all about bad fathering from your own parent, so you know how _not_ to go about it, thats for sure," Joan insisted.

"Then why is she hesitating?"

"Louisa is actually being very sensible. She has to think about the child's future as well as her own, and maybe she's worried that you might get cold feet about being a Dad just as you did about the wedding."

"Of course I wouldn't!" Martin protested.

"Well then all you've got to do is convince her of that then haven't you? Have you ever spent any time or made any effort actually wooing her?"

"What exactly do you mean by 'wooing'?" Martin queried, not liking the sound of it at all.

"For goodness sake Martin, romancing her, showing her how much you love her, spending time together, taking her out to nice places, maybe sending her flowers.."

"Oh please, not you going on about bloody flowers as well? What is it about flowers, I simply don't get it! They're full of hay fever inducing pollen, and bacteria, they cost stupid amounts of money and then they just die and make a mess. They belong in the garden, not in the house." Martin stated with some conviction.

"Don't be such an old misery guts Marty – flowers are beautiful and give a lot of pleasure. Do you have a single romantic bone in your body? You're going to have to do something to convince Louisa to give you another chance, because if you don't, I shall never forgive you for denying me the joy of getting to know this baby. Make it your new project, spend some time researching about romance and wooing. And on how to be a good father; show Louisa that you really are serious by reading up about that too. Go on, I know you can do it!" Joan cajoled Martin. She was sure that these two did actually love each other, and that Martin could be a loving, caring father in a way that his own father never had been to him.

"Still don't understand why she can't see that it just makes sense for her to come back here, it's good place for a child to grow up," Martin grumbled.

"So has she gone back to London already? When are you seeing her again?" Joan enquired.

"She's stopping the night at the pub we went to. I said I'd give her a lift to the station tomorrow, that's when she's going back," Martin replied.

"Good, well don't leave things hanging in the air, make sure you set up another meeting before she leaves. Maybe you could visit her in London?" Joan suggested.

"I'm not sure that I have the time to go dashing off up to London, I am very busy you know. I do have a practice to run," Martin replied rather pompously.

"_Make_ time, Martin. I'm sure the village can survive without you for a day or two, you aren't the only doctor on the planet you know. If you don't make the effort, you may well lose Louisa – and your child – for good." Joan warned him.

"Hmm. I'll think about it," replied Martin. He didn't always like what Joan told him, but he knew he could always rely on her judgement and wisdom when it mattered most. That's why he'd ended up here at her farm this evening. Without him even realising that this had been where he was headed, instinctively he had turned to her in his time of need, as he always did.

**xXx**

That evening, he spent a long time thinking about the baby that he and Louisa had created. It would seem that it had been conceived on the night that he'd proposed, when they'd made love for the very first time. Procreation was of course what sex was really all about, despite their feeble attempts to thwart Mother Nature. His DNA mixed with hers. 23 chromosomes from him, 23 chromosomes from her. The sex of the baby, boy or girl, determined by his sperm. XX for a girl, XY for a boy. A little girl, a miniature version of Louisa, so pretty and delicate. Or a little boy, heaven forbid, a miniature version of him – well he could always have his ears pinned back if they really bothered him when he was older. Or most likely this child would just be a fascinating mixture of the two of them, depending on which were the dominant and recessive genes that they each carried.

That he loved Louisa and wanted to be with her was not in question for him, even if he hadn't been able to vocalise these feelings to her. But he also realised now that he wanted to know his child, to be involved, to nurture his son or daughter in a way that his own parents never had with him. And if it turned out to be a shy, sensitive, bed wetting little boy just like him, then he would be able to empathise with him in a way that no one else could, wouldn't he? No one else would be able to understand him in quite the way that he would. 'Needy' his mother had described him - well isn't a child _supposed _to be needy, isn't that the role of a mother, to be loving and caring, to look after those needs? And Louisa would be such a lovely mother, he'd always known that, remembering the time they'd been discussing her neighbours' nasty little boy, Sam Oakwood and his disastrous upbringing. He knew his lucky child would be brought up by Louisa to understand right from wrong, with a firm set of rules and boundaries to live by, and he realised that he wanted to be part of setting those too. He found he really admired Louisa for the fact that she was already fiercely protective of this child, not even considering an abortion for so much as a second. He couldn't imagine a time in the future when she'd just stand back and idly watch if she were ever to discover that their child was being bullied, as _his_ mother so callously had, considering him to be a nuisance and an inconvenience.

Joan was right. He couldn't risk losing Louisa or their child, so whatever it took, he had to somehow convince her that they should be together, preferably married, but in whatever way he could get her to agree to - even if it meant buying her a sodding bunch of flowers every day until she agreed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination**

**The Gravel Road**

**Chapter 5**

After Martin left, Louisa had a shower and then sat on the bed and tried to work out how things stood between them. He'd left before she could make him understand that she did still love him, that she really wanted to try to work things out between them, but that she simply wasn't prepared to make a hasty decision again. But of course he'd acted like a teenager, going off in a huff, not prepared to sit down and talk things through with her, clamming up instead because he was so scared of rejection.

Up to that point, things had been going pretty well. Martin had reacted to the news of her pregnancy in a far more positive manner than she'd ever anticipated, although he'd undoubtedly been very shocked and taken aback. Also, they'd actually managed to talk about their reasons for calling off their wedding, and now at least she had a clearer picture of why he'd acted as he had. And she could hardly let herself believe that he wanted her back, that he regretted calling off their wedding. He wanted her to come back home to the village, he'd even hinted about the possibility of her getting her old job back – and he wanted them to get married. And part of her longed to have this fairy tale ending, longed to accept his offer straight away, to just slot back into her old life, become the Head Mistress married to the local doctor, bringing up their baby together, But this was real life, not a fairy tale. Martin was certainly no Prince Charming with a stethoscope, as Pauline had once described him. Last time she'd been literally swept off her feet by his proposal, and had let her heart rule her head – and look where that had got them. No, she was going to stick to her guns and not rush into anything this time round, whatever Martin said. It was in his best interests too.

Louisa sat and thought back to a couple of months ago, to the first time that Martin had proposed to her. It had come out of the blue, after she'd given up on him, convinced that they were never going to progress in their relationship. But then after the accident, Martin had been so amazing in the way that he'd saved Holly's life, he'd been so commanding and skilful. Suddenly it had seemed very shallow of her to have broken things off with him just because he hadn't been very romantic with her after the concert. It was just his way, he was so brilliant and clever that his mind was on a higher plain than other peoples. He was truly an extraordinary man, and when he'd blurted out that he couldn't bear to be without her and had begged her to marry him, she'd just melted and accepted his proposal without a moment's hesitation.

He'd swept up her in his arms when she'd run over to him, and held her as if he never wanted to let her go. But eventually he'd put her down, and they'd come back down to earth.

"I…err..ought…to umm.. take this back to the surgery, and umm…" Martin had stuttered. He'd just dropped everything and run out of the surgery when Louisa had called him out to Holly's accident. He had to go back to sort things out, and of course the defibrillator must be put on charge to ensure that it would be ready for the next time it was required.

Louisa had reached up to kiss him, running her hands under his jacket to explore his back and his chest.

"But you are coming back aren't you?" she'd whispered, as she'd nuzzled his neck and kissed him again.

"Yes, yes, of course I'll return just as soon as I can," Martin had replied breathlessly as he'd returned her kiss.

"And err… bring back some…you know… _protection,_" Louisa had whispered to him. Finally they could take things to the next level, after all this time, after all the countless lonely nights spent imagining how she would seduce him, she was finally going to be able to act out her fantasies.

Martin had blushed bright red at her suggestion, hardly able to believe his change of fortune.

"Right, yes, of course, I mean if you're sure Louisa…" he'd stammered out.

"Oh I'm sure Martin, very sure…unless that is, _you_ don't want to…?" Louisa had replied, as she'd pressed herself up against him. She'd smiled to herself as she'd felt the very obvious evidence that clearly he_ did _want to.

"Right well, I'll be back as quickly as I'm able, with the …umm…necessary supplies," Martin had promised, as he'd then torn himself away, picked up his medical equipment and rushed out.

Louisa had hugged herself excitedly as she'd watched him leave, and then hurriedly started her preparations.

She'd quickly finished clearing the kitchen floor, changed the sheets and tidied her bedroom after Holly's enforced stay, and taken a quick shower, followed by brushing her teeth thoroughly and swishing some mouth wash around. She'd already binned the perfume that she'd worn on their date to the concert, and didn't bother to put any other perfume on now either, for fear that it would provoke yet another unwelcome response from Martin. And the gorgeous new set of 'sexy yet tasteful' undies she'd bought in case things had progressed to that stage after their doomed date would not go to waste after all. She'd just put them on when she'd heard a knock at the door as Martin had returned, so she'd slipped her silky dressing gown on and gone downstairs to let him in….

These memories now served to remind her only too painfully that this time after Martin had proposed, she'd been left on her own for the night. So it was back to Plan A – an evening of marking the homework that she'd brought with her and then an early night. She couldn't even try to phone him – because of course there was no signal at this remote place – and she certainly wasn't going to try to talk to him from a public phone, so she would just have wait until he returned tomorrow to take her to the station. If he was still in the same non communicative mood as the one he'd been in when he'd left, then they wouldn't be able to sort anything out, and basically she would then have her answer about where they stood.

**xXx**

Louisa went down to breakfast the following morning and sat down at the same corner table that she and Martin had sat at the previous day. The Landlord came over to take her order.

"What can I get you? Full English breakfast with all the trimmings?" he suggested with a friendly smile.

"That'd be great, thanks," Louisa replied.

"Full English coming right up then. And don't you worry my dear, you're better off without the likes of that man you was here with yesterday, you should be finding yourself a decent man to settle down with, not messing about with a married …." Louisa was looking puzzled at what on earth the man was wittering on about when he stopped mid flow, halted by the sight of Martin walking in, carrying his medical bag in one hand, and a bunch of flowers in the other. He looked around for a few seconds before spotting her and then made his way over. The Landlord gave him a filthy look before walking off to get Louisa's breakfast, but Martin didn't even notice because he had eyes only for Louisa.

"Gosh Martin, you're early, my train isn't until much later this morning. I'm only just having my breakfast," Louisa told him in surprise.

"Yes I am aware of that, but I've come early because I'd like to check you over before you go back to London," Martin explained. This was true, but he also really wanted to have some time with her again before she left. He'd not slept well at all last night, as he'd thought over everything Louisa had said to him, as well as his conversations with Joan.

"Oh, and err… these are for you," Martin told her, as he shoved the flowers at her, and then sat down opposite her, tucking his medical bag under the table.

"Patient gave them to you did they?" Louisa asked, remembering the only other time that Martin had ever given her flowers.

"What? No, I…err…bought them…for you. Sorry it's only a small bunch, not many places open at this time on a Sunday morning," he explained, somewhat embarrassed. Joan had received a very early call this morning from Martin demanding to know where on earth he was supposed to buy some ruddy flowers from to take with him. The only place she could suggest was the petrol station, and the choice there had been extremely limited. But he _had _bought her flowers.

"Oh right, well they're _lovely,_ thank you Martin," Louisa lied, as she held them up to smell them. They were a pretty pathetic excuse for a bunch of flowers, but that didn't matter to her, not if he'd actually made the effort and bought them for her himself. They were certainly better than yams anyway.

The Landlord returned at that moment with a laden tray. As he served up Louisa's breakfast, he raised his eyebrows as he looked at the measly flowers, and then looked at Martin with disdain.

"Would you like some of this food Martin?" Louisa offered.

"No thanks, I've already eaten," he replied, watching fascinated as Louisa tucked into her breakfast with relish. "You seem to have a good appetite anyhow, not suffering from morning sickness at all?" he queried.

"I get a bit queasy if I don't eat regularly, but otherwise I'm fine. And I told you that I've already had a check up, you really don't need to worry," she informed him.

"All the same, I'd be happier if you would just let me carry out my own checks. I'm concerned for your welfare," Martin told her. He couldn't help feeling guilty that Louisa was the one having to carry the burden of their contraceptive failure, but he was determined that the least he could do was ensure that she didn't have any medical issues – if she would let him.

Once Louisa had finished her breakfast, she made a move to get up from the table, and the Landlord came straight over to clear the plates, having been watching them closely.

"Well I have to go and finish packing. I suppose if you really feel the need to give me check up you might as well come with me," Louisa told him, thinking to herself that he hadn't mentioned anything more about their conversation yesterday. Perhaps now he'd had time to think, he'd realised that he had spoken hastily and regretted his proposal.

"Yes, I think that would be a good idea," Martin agreed. Maybe then they could talk properly in private – the way the Landlord kept glaring at him and hovering around made it difficult to talk to her about anything personal.

Louisa went ahead towards the stairs, carefully taking her precious bunch of flowers with her, as Martin bent down to retrieve his medical bag.

"What _is_ your problem?" he demanded to know, as the Landlord glared at him again.

"It's not right, the way you're behaving with that lovely young woman." The man clearly felt he couldn't hold his tongue any longer.

"What _are_ you babbling about?" Martin asked him, puzzled.

"Coming back here again this morning, thinking that a nasty cheap bunch of flowers is going to get you back in her favours, going up to her room with her, no doubt thinking you can have your wicked way with her."

"I'm a doctor. I've come to carry out a medical check up on her…not that it's any of your business," Martin growled at the man.

"Oh, a doctor eh? Well it's not one rule for you and one for everyone else. You should still treat a woman with respect…"

"Shut up, you inbred moronic windbag, you have no idea what you're talking about," Martin told the man, as he strode off to catch Louisa up, who was looking over at the pair of them with a puzzled look.

"Everything alright?" she enquired.

"Fine," he assured her, as he ushered her up the stairs.

Inside her bedroom once more, they just stood and looked at each other for a minute, until Louisa broke the silence by saying,

"I'd best put these in some water for now," as she went towards the bathroom to put her bunch of flowers in the sink.

"Fine, then come and lie down on the bed so that I can carry out my examination of you," Martin ordered, now in full doctor mode.

"Yes Doctor Ellingham," Louisa replied sarcastically, but she did as he suggested and lay down.

He quickly ran through all the usual checks, not talking to her but instead concentrating on the matter in hand. Louisa took the opportunity to study him, noting that his face was wearing his serious concentrating expression, his usual one for when he was working. She loved that face so much, she realised, and she could feel tears welling up at the thought of losing him all over again when she left today.

"Are you done?" she asked him eventually, as he put his stethoscope and other pieces of equipment away in his bag.

"Yes, all seems fine, but maybe I should take a blood sample too…" he pondered as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"That's enough, doctor! They took some blood at my last check up. Stop fussing." Louisa insisted as she sat up.

"I'm simply trying to ensure that nothing is missed Louisa, that's all. I wish you were staying here, where I could look after you. Look I'm sorry about how I acted yesterday, but it's just that I wish I could somehow convince you that coming back would be the best thing for everyone, for you, for me and for the baby," Martin told her, no longer hiding behind his doctor persona.

"I'm not saying I won't Martin, all I'm saying is that I want to be sure it is the right decision, I don't want anyone to be hurt again by rushing into something we may regret. '_Fools rush in where angels fear to tread' _after all," she quoted at him.

"_Carpe diem_," Martin instantly quoted back at her.

"_Act in haste, repent in leisure._" Louisa retorted.

"_Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today'_. Oh look this is just silly Louisa, we could go on all day quoting proverbs and sayings to each other."

"Just be patient Martin. After all, it took us a few years to get to this point, so why the big rush now?"

"Yes, and I regret all that wasted time. Louisa, I'll change, I'll try to be more like the kind of man…"

"Stop right there Martin! That's the whole point, you shouldn't feel that you have to change to make me happy, going into a marriage thinking that you can change someone into what you want is just a recipe for disaster. And you know, I do love you just the way you are, all I wish sometimes is that you'd show more of the kind, loving and sensitive man that I know lurks somewhere underneath that gruff exterior."

"Well perhaps that's what you're meant to help me with, have you ever thought of it like that? Bringing out the best of each other - isn't that what marriage should be about? I would be good for you, because you know that you will always be able to trust me to be honest with you, I would never cheat or lie to you, unlike some other men in your life before. You would be good for me because you're so loving and caring, qualities that I admit don't come very naturally to me. Therefore a partnership between us would make good logical sense, as we would each bring different qualities to it, balancing each other out."

"Martin, that's very perceptive of you actually. You have been thinking haven't you?" Louisa was very touched by his words, and impressed by the fact that he'd been able to work things out in his own logical way to make sense of it all in a way that she hadn't.

"Yes I have. And I've been thinking about this baby. I would like to help you raise our son or daughter, that is if you would help to guide me, I think I'd be up to it."

"I'm sure you would Martin," Louisa agreed, delighted that he was being positive about this too.

"But I appreciate that you have expressed a wish for more time to think things through, and that I must simply be patient. Therefore I propose that you take this week to think things over, and that I will then come and visit you in London next weekend, and you can give me your thoughts then. Would that be acceptable to you do you think?" With great self restraint, Martin was trying to keep cool and calm.

"You'd come and visit me in London? But what about your job, the practice, you're always so busy?" Louisa asked him, taken by surprise.

"The village can manage without me for a day to two, I'm not the only doctor on the planet," Martin said, quoting Joan's words back to Louisa, although of course she didn't know that.

"In that case I'd love you to come and visit me," Louisa told him as she leaned over to kiss him tenderly on the lips. It dawned on her that Martin had hardly ever initiated any kind of date with her, the only time she could ever think that he had was when he'd cooked supper for her at his place just after they'd got engaged, and that was hardly pushing the boat out was it?. But other than that, throughout their rocky relationship, she had always been the one that had invited him to dinner, or suggested a date. Basically it had always been her chasing after him, so she found she rather liked the idea of turning the tables, with Martin now pursuing her, of him proving that he was serious about wanting to be with her by pushing himself to initiate some dates and outings. It was about time, and was what he had just told her she should do – help him to come out of his shell a bit more.

Very happy that she had agreed to his visit, Martin now deepened their kiss, and then pushed her backwards onto the bed where they were sitting together, pulling her on top of him, as he fondled her gorgeous curvy bottom through her jeans - but then he felt her pull away from him.

"Martin, I'm sorry, but I do have a train to catch, we need to leave soon," she told him reluctantly.

"Sod the train, miss it and stay here with me," he whispered breathlessly, as he pulled her back to him and started kissing her neck, while he slipped his hand under her jumper to explore her wonderful full, firm breasts through her lacy bra.

"No, Martin, I _have_ to catch it," she replied firmly, as she managed to tear herself away, but not before she wickedly ran her hand over his trousers to feel his very evident desire. "Just hold that thought until next weekend, hmm?"

Martin looked at her incredulously as she headed off to the bathroom to collect up her things to pack.

'_I'm just going to have to wait and see how far he'll push himself out of his comfort zone to judge how serious he really is about us'_, she thought to herself. She felt quite hopeful as she looked at her tatty bunch of flowers – well it was a start anyhow.

Martin lay there for a moment in his frustration.

"Bloody hell Louisa, it's going to be a very long week," he muttered as he reluctantly accepted that their romantic moment had definitely passed for now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination**

**The Gravel Road**

**Chapter 6**

As Martin drove Louisa to the station, he asked her to give him her address in London before she left, hating the thought of her disappearing again into the huge city and him having no clue to her whereabouts, hating the whole idea of her going back at all, but accepting that she had to, and at least she had seemed to like the idea of him visiting her next week.

"Ok, I'll write it down for you, but you already have my mobile number in any case, and my email address," Louisa pointed out.

"Yes, I know, but I still think it's a good idea that I have it. And err… are you happy to come and stay with me at whatever hotel I book? It'll be somewhere decent, I'll make sure of that," Martin asked, suddenly realising that he ought not to make any assumptions that she was actually going to come and stay over with him without checking first.

"Yes, I'm quite looking forward to it actually, it'll make a nice change from Holly's tiny cramped spare room. Hope you don't think I'm rude not inviting you to stay there but…" Louisa started to explain.

"Good God no! A hotel is by far the best option. What I mean is, we'll have more privacy to discuss everything that we need to sort out," Martin was horrified at the thought of staying at Holly's house and having to make polite chit chat – he couldn't think of anything worse, quite frankly. "So how about I come up on Friday afternoon, then we'll have a bit more time together?"

"Sorry Martin but unfortunately I have parents evening on Friday which I can't get out of I'm afraid, and I have a horrid feeling that it's going to go on quite late – I'm sure that the type of parents who send their children to Queensgate will expect very detailed feedback on their precious little darlings progress. That's one of the reasons I couldn't risk missing my train and being back late – I have so much preparation to do for this week," Louisa explained. Martin had realised some time ago that Louisa was an extremely conscientious and responsible teacher, so he wasn't really surprised by this– he supposed he had to begrudgingly respect her professionalism, even if it had impacted on their time together.

"Hmm, I see, but then if I leave it to come up on Saturday, half the day will be gone before I even arrive, it won't give us much time at all."

"OK, well why don't you come up sometime on Friday evening, then we can meet up first thing Saturday morning. Let me know all the details when you know for sure and we can take it from there. I think emailing is going to be the best option, we'll probably keep missing one another on the phone because we're both so busy, and reception is very patchy in Cornwall meaning that half the time I probably won't be able to get back to you on your mobile anyhow. And you're rubbish at texting."

Martin had such large hands and fingers that he got exasperated trying to send text messages and so rarely sent them, although he did read those that were sent to him, Louisa had learnt by experience.

"Yes, I suppose that does make sense," he agreed.

She'd help him set up a personal email account when they'd been engaged, so that she could send him messages and they wouldn't go to the surgery email. He'd failed to see the funny side of the user name she'd set up for him - docmartin1, but as it was only really for their personal use, he'd grumpily accepted it. He hadn't used it since they'd broken up, but now he realised that it would provide a good means of communication, as she'd pointed out.

They got to the station rather early in the end, and Louisa was sure that Martin must now be thinking that they would have had time for what he'd had in mind just before they'd left. By way of compensation, as they sat and waited for a while in the car, she lent over and kissed him tenderly on his cheek as she stroked his face with her hand.

"I'm sorry about earlier…you know? But I'll make it up to you next weekend, that's a promise," she whispered in his ear. She was rewarded by seeing him blush bright red all the way to the tips of his ears, and then struggle to answer her coherently.

"That's good…I mean…not that…I don't…"

Louisa just smiled at him and gave him another lingering kiss this time on his lips.

"Like I said before, just hold that thought," she whispered.

Martin thought it pretty likely he wouldn't be thinking about very much else this week.

**xXx**

"Well come on then Lou, dish the dirt, how did things go with Doctor Delight? You did tell Martin your news I take it?" Holly asked, having followed Louisa into the spare bedroom of her house on her return from Cornwall.

"Yes, of course I told him, that was the whole point of going wasn't it?" Louisa replied, as she opened up her bag to unpack her things.

"And? Was he the cold hearted monster you suspected? Or did he turn all warm and fuzzy, hearts and flowers, all that kind of thing?" Holly demanded to know.

Louisa sighed, knowing that Holly wasn't going to give up until she'd heard all the details.

"He took it much better than I expected actually. Martin doesn't do 'warm and fuzzy', but he did do flowers," Louisa smiled as she carefully placed her bunch of flowers in a vase and put them next to her bed. They hadn't travelled very well and were now even tattier than ever.

"Oh dear, if that's the best he can come up with, it doesn't bode very well I'm afraid," Holly replied as she turned her nose up at the pathetic display. Martin still earned a far whack as a GP even if he was no longer a high flying consultant any more, so in her book there was no excuse for such a shoddy bunch.

"That's not fair, it was Sunday morning so not many places were open, and any way it's the thought that counts. Believe me, for Martin buying any flowers at all is a huge leap forward," Louisa explained defensively.

"If you say so," said Holly, unconvinced. "So anyway, what happened? What did he say?"

"Well if you must know, he wants me to go back to Portwenn, for us to get back together…to get married actually, even seems to think there's a chance I could get my old job back as well," Louisa confessed. She intended to phone Stu Mackenzie first chance she got to see if she could find out just what Martin had been hinting about.

"Wow! That's fantastic Lou! You must be thrilled, what a result! I just _knew_ he'd want to do the decent thing by you once he knew, he's so typically 'old school'. So when are you going back? I hope you'll at least stay to see the end of the term out…" Holly babbled on excitedly.

"Not so fast Holly! I haven't said 'yes', not yet anyway," Louisa informed her friend.

"Are you mad? Why on earth not, it's the answer to everything surely, both for you and the baby?" Holly asked, shocked.

"I'm not prepared to rush into a hasty marriage of convenience just because I'm pregnant, and I certainly don't look on Martin as a convenient meal ticket. I want us both to think things through properly, I couldn't go through another few weeks like the last few have been, having called off another wedding, or worse still end up getting divorced because we aren't really compatible," Louisa told her firmly.

"Yes, but being a single mum is no bed of roses either. I admit that I've never really understood just what it is you see in the man, but each to their own, you obviously fancied him enough to have ended up pregnant with his baby," Holly pointed out.

"I haven't said 'no' to him yet either, Holly. He's coming up to London next weekend, and we'll talk more about it then," Louisa said.

"Are you planning on him coming here? Be a bit of a squash won't it, after all he's a pretty big bloke," Holly asked, looking round the very small spare room which had just a single bed in it, that Louisa had been occupying for the past few weeks.

"No, he won't be staying here, he's going to book a hotel for the weekend. He'll let me know all the details when he's made the arrangements."

"Ah right, hopefully he'll splash out and book somewhere really nice, then you can have a lovely weekend together before you give him your answer – which will be 'yes', if you have any sense. Believe me there really aren't that many decent men out there, and it doesn't get any easier as the years tick by. And once you've got a baby in tow as well…" Holly lectured her friend.

"We'll see. I'm still thinking it over, but I have to say he was pretty good about everything, much better than I'd expected, and you know he isn't really so difficult when you get to know him better…" Louisa sat on the bed, smiling to herself as she thought about him. It had taken an awful lot of self control on her part to resist him just before she'd left, and she supposed it had been pretty mean the way she'd insisted they had to leave for her to catch the train – and then they'd ended up arriving a good twenty minutes early for it. But she didn't want him to think that he only had to snap his fingers at her and she'd jump into bed with him, which had been pretty much how she'd acted up to now. Oh well, she could make it up to him next weekend…

Holly looked at her friend, sitting there day dreaming with a silly grin on her face. For all her protestations, Holly realised that there was really little doubt that she was going to say yes and marry her grumpy doctor – unless he really stuffed things up big time next weekend.

Before she went to bed, Louisa decided to email Martin, deciding to keep it friendly but brief.

'_Hi M,_

_Back safe and sound in London. Let me know when you've finalised the arrangements for next weekend. Looking forward to it._

_Take care,_

_L xxx'_

She hit the send button and wondered how long it would be before Martin would get round to reading it or sending a reply. With that she settled down to sleep, so relieved at how her weekend had turned out, immensely glad that the burden of how/when/where she would tell Martin about their baby had finally been resolved. Now all she had to try to decide the best way forward for them all.

**xXx**

Martin sighed to himself as he tried to settle down to sleep after such an eventful weekend. Ever since the very first time that he'd seen Louisa on the plane to Cornwall, and when she'd sat on the interview panel and been the only one to challenge him, she had got under his skin in a way that no other woman had ever done before or since. Maybe it was the fact that although she appeared to have a very strong, tough exterior, he'd somehow sensed that underneath she was really very vulnerable and insecure - a kindred spirit calling out to his. Maybe that was what seemed to link them and bind them, however much he'd tried to fight and deny it over the years, not wanting to risk rejection and humiliation from such a beautiful woman who was surely out of his league. But surprisingly over the years since he'd come to Cornwall, there had been other women who had tried to entice him, somehow seeing him as a challenge, an enigma that they alone could solve - that had been the impression that Carrie Wilson woman had given anyway, and the Tishell woman never seemed to give up on him either, despite receiving no encouragement from him whatsoever. But it was only ever Louisa who inhabited his thoughts and dreams every day – and most certainly every night – and very erotic dreams they were too sometimes.

Typically they would follow the same familiar pattern.

"I _need_ you Martin, _please" _she'd beg him, having somehow made her way into his bedroom, waking him by kissing his nose and then his lips. As he'd open his eyes in the darkness, he'd make out Louisa in the soft moonlight. She would be straddled over him on his bed, wearing a silky cream negligee, leaning back to remove the matching silky dressing gown to reveal a tantalising glimpse of her breasts.

"Oh Louisa…." he'd start to say, but would be silenced as she would once more lean down to kiss his lips …

There were many variations of this dream, but they always seemed to focus on Louisa begging him to make love to her in various locations. He worked very hard to keep a tight lid on these thoughts while he was around her, hence his often very brusque and abrupt manner with her. However it certainly proved that he had a very vivid and active imagination indeed, whatever impression he might give to the world of a repressed and uptight individual.

His first proposal of marriage to Louisa had not been planned or carefully thought out at all. He'd found that he'd simply not been able to bear the thought of losing her, of being without her after she'd finally given up her pursuit of him, had broken things off with him, when yet again he'd managed to sabotage a date with her - this time one to a very nice concert that he'd actually rather enjoyed. But when she'd made clear her wish for them to take things to the next level with him by leading him into a secluded copse and kissing him so passionately, he'd panicked and forced his mind to concentrate on something else, something medical, rather than risk letting go of his control with her. Oh but then he'd lain awake that night deeply regretting his actions, wondering why on earth he'd stuffed things up so badly. It had pushed him to summon up the courage and grab the very last chance he was given by a stroke of fate. When he'd saved Holly's life, he'd somehow become some sort of wonderful hero in Louisa's eyes, when really he'd only been doing his job, doing what he'd been trained to do. So he'd seized the moment and proposed while she held him in such high regard, knowing that if he walked out of her house without doing so, he would never get another chance. Thankfully she'd accepted his proposal, and that evening they had finally taken things to the next level as they had made love for the first time.

This real experience had far exceeded any of his dreams, and he wondered why on earth he hadn't taken this leap before. Why had he fought against it for so long - he realised that he'd been such a fool. She had been everything and more than he'd ever dreamt about - he discovered that he was able to let go of his inhibitions with her, that she was his soul mate as well as his lover.

It had made the decision not to go ahead with their wedding so very hard, but he had thought it was the right thing at the time, when all the doubts had flooded back in. The loneliness in the weeks afterwards had been virtually unbearable, just as he'd known it would be when he'd told her that he couldn't bear to be without her when he'd proposed - except that he'd _had _to bear it.

But now, because of a faulty batch of condoms that had led to an unplanned pregnancy, they had been forced to look again at their relationship. 'A precious gift' was how Louisa had described their baby, and he supposed that he had to agree with her, because otherwise he suspected that he would never have heard from her again, and he would not have been given this second chance. They were joined together forever now, by this baby that had been conceived on their first night together, as if it were a sign telling them that they _would _always be linked, no matter how they managed to mess things up between them.

The frustration he'd felt today when their time together had been cut short by her insistence on leaving to catch her train meant that he knew his dreams would be returning again with a vengeance this week.

He'd spent the afternoon selecting which hotel and train he wanted to book, so as soon as he knew that his Friday schedule had been rearranged to his satisfaction, he would go ahead and book everything and then let Louisa know, as she had requested in the email he'd received from her earlier. He'd sent a reply:

_L_

_Arrangements in hand. Will confirm details tomorrow. _

_M_

It made Louisa smile when she received it - its briefness was so typical of the man, but then she'd expect nothing less. At least he had replied, confirming that this line of communication was now open between them.

**xXx**

Pauline wandered into work on Monday morning, yawning as she plonked her keys down on her desk, surprised to see that her computer was already switched on. She looked up as the Doc marched out of his surgery to confront her.

"You're late! You should be here, ready to commence your duties at 8:30 am sharp, not dawdle in ten minutes later when it suits you," Martin lectured her, looking pointedly at the clock. He wanted to get on and book his train and hotel for the weekend, but first he needed Pauline to confirm that she had been able to reschedule all the necessary Friday appointments, some of which were important check ups.

"Keep you're hair on! And what's all this then?" She was looking at the appointments diary which Martin had left on her desk, with a note to tell her to reschedule all his appointments from midday onwards.

"You can read can't you? It's pretty simple and straightforward even for someone of your limited abilities. I shall be away next weekend, so I want you to clear my schedule for Friday afternoon. Just get on and reschedule those appointments that I've indicated, and let me know when you have completed this task. Now!"

With that Martin marched back into his office and was about to slam the door behind him, only he wasn't quick enough. Pauline had followed him, her curiosity piqued.

"Where are you going then? You never go away for the weekend."

"Mind your own business! It is of no concern to you what my plans are for the weekend. Just carry out your responsibilities as my secretary and do as I have instructed – immediately, and with no questions."

Martin's countenance made it clear to Pauline that she was going to get nowhere with him.

"Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir," she muttered under her breath as she returned to her desk and started looking up the numbers to contact the patients.

"At least no one seems to have found out about my meeting up with Louisa," Martin thought to himself, relieved. If word had got out, Pauline would have been quizzing him the moment she'd clapped eyes on him this morning, so that was something to be grateful for anyhow. Joan had rung him last night, but he'd let the answer phone take her call, he hadn't been ready to talk to her again, but no doubt she would be tracking him down at some point fairly soon. The last thing he wanted to do was have to explain things to other people before he knew himself just exactly what was what.

He looked at his list to see who his first patient was, glad that he was going to be as busy as ever today with a very full list. At least it would keep him occupied and stop his mind wandering and thinking about everything that had happened over the weekend – and what was going to happen _next_ weekend.

_To be continued – reviews always welcomed_


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination**

**The Gravel Road**

**Chapter 7**

Finally Monday morning's session was at an end. Martin needed to use the computer, but he had to wait for Pauline to leave for her lunch break before he could use it in private – it made him think that maybe he should consider getting his own laptop, as Louisa had suggested to him a few times when they'd been engaged. Up to now, he hadn't really seen the point, he much preferred to hand write his notes as he went along with his patients, and any research he needed to undertake could be done in the evenings on the main surgery computer. He left the door to his consulting room open so that he would know when Pauline left – normally she couldn't wait to get out of the door at lunch time, but today she seemed to be dithering about for ages.

"Managed to cancel or change most of your appointments for Friday Doc, at least all the ones you highlighted as important," Pauline shouted though to him, just as Joan made her way into his surgery.

"Oh, and may I ask why you're cancelling his appointments?" Joan asked curiously.

"Doc's going away for the weekend. Won't say where though. I reckon it's for a dirty weekend," Pauline said as she snorted with laughter, believing that to be completely impossible. More like it was just some medical conference or something, to take his mind off Louisa and the non wedding. He wasn't the type to drown his sorrows and sow a few wild oats like most normal blokes would – but then the Doc was not a normal bloke in any way shape or form.

"Marty?" Joan looked at her nephew questioningly.

"My personal life is not up for general discussion," he snapped at Joan, as he glared pointedly at Pauline and raised his eyebrows.

"Right. Well I'm off to meet Al, be back in a bit," Pauline said, not batting an eyelid at the Doc's grumpy reply to his aunt – it was par for the course with the Doc. She scooped up her bag, coat and scarf, wrapping herself up against the elements as she headed out of the door, surprised that the Doc didn't whinge at her and remind her not to be late back as he normally did.

As soon as Pauline had closed the door behind her, Martin quickly sat down at the desk and started tapping at the keyboard, ignoring his aunt. She just stood back and looked on with some amusement as she saw him concentrating intently for a minute or two, and then saw a hint of a smile hover around his mouth for just a few seconds.

Martin was too busy checking his emails to take any notice of Joan, as he read the latest one from Louisa;

_M,_

_Just managed to sneak into the office to use the computer this lunchtime to tell you that the flowers are GORGEOUS. I was so shocked (and embarrassed) when a great big bouquet turned up from you at school today. You really are so surprising sometimes, I'd never have imagined you doing something like this, but I'm really glad that you did. _

_How are you getting on with your hotel booking – any update yet?_

_L xxx_

So the order he'd placed last night with Interflora _had _arrived at the right place. He'd realised that it was no good having them sent to Holly's address as Louisa would be at work, so he'd googled Queensgate school to get the address, and specified that they must be delivered there between 9:00 am and 4:00pm, having paid extra for next day delivery.

He keyed in a reply and sent it back straight away.

_L_

_Glad the delivery was satisfactory. Should be in a position to update re arrangements very shortly._

_M_

Then he glanced up at Joan.

"Yes? Was there something in particular you wanted?" he asked rather irritably, annoyed to be interrupted.

"I just came in to see what's happening, you know, between you and Louisa, seeing as you didn't bother to return my call. Is that what this weekend away of yours is all about? Are you going up to London to see her?" she asked him, rather exasperated. One minute he was coming to see her to unburden himself and seek her advice, the next he could barely bring himself to be civil to her.

"Well it might be, if I could only get on and book it without people pestering me," he replied tetchily.

"Ah right, I see, you managed to sort things out with her then?" Joan enquired hopefully.

"Not exactly no, that's what this next weekend is for, for us to talk things through."

"Well whatever happens Marty, for goodness sake make an effort with the girl, and don't do your usual trick of opening your mouth and jumping in with both feet. No doubt being pregnant will mean that she'll be rather hormonal and might take things the wrong way – you know what you're like, tact has never been your strongest point has it?" Joan pointed out in her usual forthright manner.

"Thank you for your vote of confidence, Auntie Joan," Martin replied witheringly, as he turned back to the computer screen to bring up the details of the hotel he had in mind and make the booking.

"OK I'll leave you to it, you know where to find me if you want to talk," Joan told him, as she leaned over to give him a peck on the cheek.

"Hmm," Martin replied distractedly, as he concentrated on the details on the screen.

Joan sighed to herself as she left the surgery. She really wasn't sure that Martin was going to pull this off and convince Louisa to return to the village. She certainly hoped that he would for all their sakes, but most especially for the sake of the baby.

**xXx**

"Sorry I'm a bit late, had to make all these extra phone calls to reschedule appointments cos the Doc's going away for the weekend," Pauline explained to Al as she wandered into the pub to meet him. He had more spare time on his hands at the moment, with it being out of season, and so too few tourists to make it worthwhile opening the restaurant until nearer Christmas. But he did sometimes pick up a plumbing job now and again to help top up the coffers.

"Oh, where's he going? Off for a dirty weekend somewhere is he?" Al joked.

"Yea right, as if," Pauline scoffed. "He wouldn't say what he's up to. You know the Doc, he never tells anyone anything, always plays his cards close to his chest. Probably some boring medical convention or something."

"Unless he's missing the pleasures of the flesh, now that he's had a taste of what he's been missing all these years, you know, with Louisa," Al winked at Pauline, who choked on her drink at the very idea of the Doc 'doing the deed'.

"Oh Al, you couldn't be more wrong! I think that's why Louisa called the wedding off, cos he…you know…wasn't _up_ to things, if you know what I'm saying." This was Pauline's theory, because she could never ever, not in a million years, ever imagine the Doc actually _doing it_.

"Nah, I think you've got him all wrong," Al teased. "And you know, come to think of it, Sunday morning I thought I saw the Doc's car up at 'The Coach and Four' on the moor. Old Cyril the Landlord rang and asked if I could fix the sink in the kitchen there for him, cos it was blocked. Only took me ten minutes, easy job it was, but I thought I saw a silver Lexus just like our Doc's in the far corner of the car park, only I didn't pay too much attention at the time. And you know what everyone stays _there_ for don't you? A secret bit of 'how's your father', that's what that place is renowned for."

"Stop messing about Al, you're just being plain silly now," Pauline said, as she shoved him playfully in the ribs making him spill his beer, as they both giggled at the thought of something as ludicrous as the Doc have a secret love tryst.

**xXx**

As Martin settled down in bed with just his trusty British Medical Journal for company in the hotel room in London, his mobile phone rang.

"Louisa? What's the matter, is there a problem" he asked, having seen her name come up. His first thought was that she was cancelling, that she wasn't going to come over in the morning, and he felt his heart sink. It was bad enough that she'd had to attend the wretched parents evening at school and been unable to join him this evening, so what could be the matter now?

"No, nothing's wrong, it's just that…"

"What?"

"Is it too late for me to come over now? I'm back from parents evening, and I'm just sitting here all by myself in my pokey little bedroom, and it seems such a shame now that you're here in London too, don't you think?" Louisa wasn't sure how Martin would feel about a late evening visit, knowing that he was an 'early to bed, early to rise' person, and it was now past 10:00pm

"Err yes, yes it does seem a shame," Martin agreed, now sitting up in bed, his BMJ dropping unnoticed onto the floor.

"So, what do you think? Should I come over? Or are you too tired?"

"No, no I'm not too tired, if you want to come over that would be good, that would fine," Martin quickly assured her, wide awake now.

"What's the nearest tube station to the hotel then?" Louisa enquired, pleased that he seemed enthusiastic about a nocturnal visit from her.

"Don't take the tube at this time of night, get a taxi," Martin urged her.

"London taxis are a bit pricey Martin, I'll be fine getting the tube, it's really not that late," she replied.

"No, I'll organise a taxi to come and get you, so just stay put for now," Martin insisted, glad that he already had Holly's address, and knowing that he only had to make a quick call down to the concierge. In this class of hotel, anything could be arranged for their guests with no questions asked.

"It's really not necessary…" Louisa argued.

"Louisa, I _insist_. Just sit tight until it gets there, traffic shouldn't be too bad at this time of night, so it shouldn't take long."

"Well I suppose if it's not too much trouble... so see you very soon then, Martin," Louisa told him, thinking that it would actually be rather nice to be collected and chauffeured over – so why not let him arrange it?

"Yes, Bye." Martin closed his phone, and then picked up the hotel phone to make his request.

**xXx**

As Louisa sat in the taxi on the way over, she decided to push all her niggling doubts and worries about her relationship with Martin to the back of her mind just for tonight. Tomorrow would be soon enough to tackle things with him to decide about their future – if indeed they did have a future together.

So now she took her mobile out of her bag and sent a text message to Martin.

'_On way over in taxi now. Hope you aren't going to be overdressed when I arrive? xxx'_

If he was still in his bloody suit and tie she would scream. Surely even he couldn't fail to get the hint that clothes were not a requirement tonight?

The journey over didn't take too long, and Louisa soon found herself at the reception desk of the very swanky, posh hotel. It must be costing Martin a bomb, so all the more reason to make the most of it, she decided.

"I'm just checking in, Louisa Glasson, I'm staying with Doctor Ellingham," she explained to the young man.

"Ah yes. Room 932. Go straight up to the ninth floor, and turn left. Enjoy your stay," the man explained, as he smiled and handed her the card that was the key to the door. He didn't show any surprise that she wasn't Mrs Ellingham, not so much as a raised eyebrow. London certainly wasn't like Cornwall where everyone took such an interest in the goings on of other folk, Louisa thought to herself.

She entered the lift, pressed the button for the ninth floor and felt her stomach lurch as the lift speed upwards. She quickly checked her reflection in the mirrored wall of the lift, and then walked out as the lift doors opened. Turning left, she easily found room 932 and knocked on the door, even though she had her own key.

Martin opened the door to her, wearing just his dressing gown she was relieved to see.

"Louisa."

"Martin."

She stepped into the room, throwing her bag down just inside the door, and dropping her big thick maxi coat off to reveal that underneath she was wearing very little indeed. Then she threw herself into his arms, just as she had when he'd proposed to her in her cottage. He picked her up and swung her round, deftly kicking the door shut with his heel as he did so, and carried her over to the bed…


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination**

**The Gravel Road**

**Chapter 8**

"Oh Louisa, do you have any idea how hard it's been for me to concentrate on anything since last week?" Martin murmured as they lay together on the bed, fervently kissing and caressing each other.

"Tell me how you've been feeling, talk to me Martin," Louisa whispered, her fingers playing with the hair on the back of his neck as he kissed her neck and her ears.

"Err…distracted, like I had a fever or something." Martin was surprised to feel her tense slightly and pull away.

"Fever? I make you feel ill, is that what you're saying?" This was not at all what Louisa wanted to hear. She wanted him to finally say those three little words that would mean so much to her, that he seemed completely unable to utter unless he was three sheets gone to the wind. Even with the beautiful flowers that he'd sent her, all the accompanying card had said was 'From Martin'. This was important to her, because surely the man who claimed he wanted to marry her should able to bring himself to say those three little words, at least in the privacy of their bedroom, just for her to hear.

"Ill - no, of course not! What I mean is that all I've been able to think of is you, of how you feel when I touch you _here_," Martin gently fondled her breast and then circled her nipple with just the tip of his finger, making her shiver. "And _here_…" he now grazed his fingers up her thighs, and then over her hips to her waist, teasing her as he avoided anywhere more intimate. Louisa found herself arching towards his touch, wanting him, needing him every bit as much as his body was clearly indicating that he needed her. She'd vowed to herself to hold back, not to let their lovemaking progress until she'd managed to elicit from him some sort of a declaration of love. But Martin was employing very impressive foreplay skills, making it much harder than she'd anticipated.

He trailed his fingers downwards, and she whimpered and moaned as she felt him slowly start to arouse her, stroking, and circling with such an expert touch, making all thoughts of holding back from him disappear.

"Oh Martin, that feels so incredibly good," she moaned, as she felt herself quivering with excitement. In her limited previous experience, men had always been pretty clueless, they'd never had any idea of just _how_ to touch a woman, of how to invoke the delicious sensations that Martin seemed to be able to do so effortlessly. Clearly his detailed knowledge of the female anatomy was a distinct advantage, and he was certainly putting that knowledge to very good use tonight as Louisa felt herself climbing to new heights of pleasure.

"I need you Martin, please, I need you _right now_," she was very soon demanding, just as he'd hoped she would.

This was what he had been waiting for, for her need to match his own very urgent need, knowing that he would not be able to control the pace of things for very much longer. He willingly helped her to straddle him, desperate to finally be able to take her, to possess her fully. This was all he had been thinking and dreaming about doing ever since the frustrating end to her visit last week.

"Oh God Louisa, I've needed you _so_ badly," he groaned, as they finally got to complete their unfinished business from her trip to Cornwall.

**xXx**

"This bed is ridiculously huge!" Louisa commented as they lay together afterwards, with just a sheet covering them both. She was resting her head on his chest, her hands loosely wrapped around his waist and her legs entwined with his. She felt that it would be impossible to feel any closer to another human being than she did to Martin as this moment. Their love making had been divine, Martin was certainly a very accomplished lover, but he was still such a conundrum to her. Repressed, and uptight, but undeniably a highly skilled and talented doctor, and then in the bedroom, still pretty repressed, unable to tell her that he loved her, and yet a highly skilled and talented lover. Each time that they had made love so far had been a wonderful experience for her because he was such a considerate lover. So that box was definitely ticked in their relationship – but there were still many other boxes that had just a question mark in them. But for now she just wanted to enjoy the moment.

"Standard for this type of hotel," Martin informed her, glad that she seemed impressed.

"Bit different from 'The Coach and Four'," Louisa replied, as she glanced round at the luxurious suite with every possible convenience, from the fluffy bath robes to the exotic complementary fruit bowl.

"Yes I suppose it is," Martin agreed.

"Well, I look forward to make full use of all the facilities in the morning, but for now I'm shattered, it's been a busy day," Louisa yawned.

"Yes, of course, and no doubt your pregnancy is making you feel more tired. Are you still feeling OK?" Martin asked her concernedly.

"I'm fine Martin, just fine," Louisa replied, closing her eyes and sighing as sleep overcame her.

Martin closed his eyes too as he held her close, revelling in the fact that the woman of his dreams was actually here in reality.

**xXx**

He was woken in the morning as he felt Louisa slip out of his arms and make her way to the bathroom. He glanced at the clock, and was surprised to see that it was already 8:00 am. Well he supposed it had been quite late by the time they'd settled down to sleep after their 'activities', the memories of which were still very fresh in his mind. He heard sounds of the shower running - he needed to shower too, and considered joining her in the huge walk in shower, but in the end decided against it as she hadn't invited him, and he was only too aware of not wanting to push things too far with her, especially in her current rather hormonal state. Also, the practical side of him knew that with the considerable difference in their heights, making love in the shower might prove somewhat of a challenge, one that he fantasised about exploring at a later date…that was if things did work out between them, which he was determined that they would.

So for now he set about tidying the room, picking up the discarded items from the floor. Her coat reminded him of the moment that she'd walked in and then dropped it to the floor. My God what an amazing woman she was, so beautiful, so sexy, but also damned feisty and independent. She was fully prepared to go it alone with her pregnancy and he knew that she was more than capable of doing so, that she would rise to the challenge. Somehow it just made him admire and love her even more, the fact that she wanted this baby – _his_ baby - so much and that she was prepared to go through so much to have it. No, he had to concentrate on getting things right with Louisa, because failure was not an option as far as he was concerned.

Louisa came out of the bathroom, wearing one of the fluffy white robes, her hair scooped up in a messy topknot, her complexion glowing from the shower, and he couldn't help but just stand and stare at her. The scent of the toiletries wafted out, a fresh and rather spicy mix of lemon and ginger.

"What's the matter?" Louisa queried, seeing his look and the way his nostrils were twitching slightly. "Whatever odour you've detected that you think I smell of, I don't want to know, alright? I've just used the very expensive smellies provided by the hotel, that's all."

"No, no, I wasn't going to say…" Joan's warning to him about his lack of tact came to mind, and he decided that it was probably safest for him not to say anything at all.

He watched as Louisa made for the fruit bowl and helped herself to a banana.

"Gosh I'm starving, what time's breakfast?" she enquired, as she pressed the button for the curtains to open. "Wow! Look at that view." She stood staring at the vista in front of her – Tower Bridge and the River Thames. "Seems a shame to leave this room really."

"We don't have to. Order what ever you want from room service. We can eat here." Martin pointed at the table and chairs next to the window in their suite.

"That'll be expensive though won't it Martin?"

"Doesn't matter. Have whatever you like." He was perfectly happy not to have to go downstairs yet, to stay here, just the two of them.

"Well if you're sure, that would be lovely." Louisa began to imagine what Martin must have been like in his previous existence as a high flying top consultant in London. Used to having the best, not batting an eyelid at the cost, having people jump to his every command. She'd seen so many people like that in London, and it had made her realise that actually Martin fitted right in here in London; he wasn't a fish out of water here at all. There were many others like him, the bankers, the lawyers and the stock brokers, top business men used to clicking their fingers and every one jumping to their command, no matter how rude they were. No wonder he'd found it such a culture shock moving to Cornwall.

"Do you miss it?" she asked him curiously.

"What?"

"All this. London, swanky hotels, the buzz of the city, you know what I mean?."

"No, I don't miss it," Martin answered briefly, not wanting her to think that he'd rather be in London than in Cornwall with her. "Come on, let's get this breakfast ordered," he insisted, making it plain that he was not going to discuss his life before he'd come to Cornwall.

**xXx**

"Have you been weighed recently at a check up? You shouldn't have put any weight on yet," Martin said, as he watched Louisa enthusiastically tucking into her hearty breakfast.

Louisa's fork stopped halfway to her mouth, the Eggs Benedict dripping slightly.

"Are you saying I look fat? I'm not showing yet, you know," Louisa's hand dropped to her belly self consciously.

"No, that's not what I'm saying at all. But you will need to watch your weight, those pounds will be hard to shift once the baby's born, especially at your age," Martin told her, in what he considered a helpful, informative manner.

"Thanks for that Martin. Any other helpful tips you'd like to pass on then, hmm?" she glared at him. He hadn't picked up the warning signs as he was busy pouring his coffee. However, as he glanced up now he suddenly noticed the glint in her eye, and realised that he was treading on thin ice again.

"Well if you come back to Cornwall I shall be able to monitor you effectively to hopefully avoid any problems won't I? So…umm, have you given the subject of returning any more thought?" he tentatively asked, broaching the subject that was uppermost on his mind, desperate to know where he stood.

"Of course I have Martin. I rang Stu Mackenzie, as you suggested," she informed him.

"And?"

"I gather it's a rather difficult situation. Stu described Mr. Strain as 'barking mad' but of course they can't just get rid of him, things have to go through due process, which is apparently where you come into the picture. What on earth is the matter with the man Martin?"

"I can't say. I'm not at liberty to discuss my patient's condition."

Martin had completed a medical report confirming that Mr. Strain was suffering from porphyria – an inherited condition whereby a deficiency in his enzymes led to a build up of toxins in his blood. It was this build up that had been causing his recent unstable and peculiar behaviour. Martin's recommendation was that he be medically retired, but it was now up to the Education authorities to decide the appropriate course of action.

"No, I suppose you can't," Louisa sighed. "Well in any case, Stu explained that they have a part time teaching vacancy coming up next term which they'd be happy for me to fill, and that if the Headship does then come up, they'd be very happy for me to apply for it," Louisa explained.

"But why on earth would you want to apply for a full time post now – surely the part time role would be far more suitable for you in your condition?" Martin looked at her as if she were mad. He'd told her about the possibility of the Head Teacher post opening up before he'd been aware that she was pregnant.

"What do you mean 'in my condition'?" Louisa retorted, knowing full well what he meant.

"Louisa, you are going to have a baby!"

"So? What difference does that make?"

"How on earth would you cope with a full time job and a baby?"

"Martin, you are so old fashioned! It's perfectly possible to work and be a full time mum you know!"

"But you don't need to work. I can support you while you stay at home with the baby," Martin told her forcefully.

"I want to work! I'd go completely Bodmin stuck at home all day," Louisa replied, just as forcefully.

They stared at each other across the table, knowing that their opposing views meant that they had already hit a major stumbling block.

"Well, we'll just have to wait and see what happens about the job then, won't we?" Martin backed off from the confrontation for now. If he could only get Louisa to come back, they could worry about the details later. He was pretty certain that she would feel differently about returning to work once the baby was actually born, because of how strong her maternal instincts seemed to be. At least her enquiries about the job at Portwenn School showed that she was giving serious consideration to returning anyhow, so that seemed promising.

"And…us? What are your thoughts about how we stand?" he tried to ask this very casually, but his heart was pounding in his chest as he waited for her reply.

"It's… complicated, isn't it Martin?" she replied, hesitantly.

"No it isn't. Either you want to be with me, or you don't."

"I do but…"

"But what?"

"This is just perfect, the two of us here in this fantastic hotel, having great sex, but it isn't real is it?"

"What do you mean? Seems pretty real to me."

"Yes but before very long I'm going to be huge and fat and ugly when I'm heavily pregnant and then you won't want to have sex with me any more. And after that we'll have a baby demanding our attention, so there'll be no romantic weekends away in London for years to come. And I'll probably never get my figure back again, so you won't find me attractive anyway. So in a way, I feel as if I'm luring you under false pretences, because this is as good as it gets, it's all down hill from now on. You could end up resenting me, feeling trapped and wanting a divorce. So it _is _complicated, don't you see Martin?"

Louisa looked at him questioningly, as he looked straight back at her to reply,

"Do give me some credit Louisa, I am a doctor after all. I am fully aware, much more so than the average man on the street, of exactly what a heavily pregnant woman looks like. It's a fascinating miracle of science for a woman to grow a new life within her, one that in this case I've helped to create, that carries my genes, my DNA. And yes of course I'm enjoying our sex life but I've gone without sex for long periods before and can do so again, although I'm not saying I'll find it easy. And I can't pretend to know how on earth I'm going to find coping with a baby, but who does until they are in that position? All I know is that I am prepared to give it my best shot, if you'll only give me the chance."

Louisa looked at Martin and leaned over to tenderly touch his cheek.

"You do mean that don't you? And I really want to give you that chance, but…"

"So what's stopping you from saying yes?" Martin demanded to know impatiently.

Finally Louisa had to come out with what was bothering her the most, what had been gnawing at her for a long time.

"Martin, I don't want to be stuck in an emotionally stilted marriage. Because despite all the time that we've known each other, after everything we've been through, even though we're lovers, you still can't bring yourself to tell me that you love me, can you? The only time you ever talked about 'love' was the one and only time I got you drunk, and even then you accused me of erotomania afterwards because it freaked you out so much. Don't you understand how important it is for me to actually hear those words from you, if I'm going to marry you and be with you for the rest of my life? I've told you on numerous occasions that I love you, but you've never once responded by saying 'I love you too' back. You've never trusted me enough to really open up have you?" Louisa's eyes were now filled with tears as the hurt that she felt became apparent.

Martin looked at her, horrified to see her upset.

"But you know I'm just no good at all that kind of thing," he mumbled, feeling embarrassed and out of his depth.

"Not good enough Martin. Not nearly good enough I'm afraid," Louisa responded. "And what about our child? Will you be the same with our son or daughter? Are they going to grow up never hearing their father tell them that he loves them? How incredibly sad would that be?" Louisa carried on emotionally.

"Well I just wasn't brought up that way, to talk about things like that. It just wasn't the done thing," Martin tried to explain lamely. He couldn't remember his mother or his father ever telling him that they loved him. Even Joan, who he knew did care for him, was not one for expressing her feelings like that, he couldn't recall her ever actually told him out loud that she loved him.

"Stiff upper lip and all that crap eh? Well at least my Dad, for all his faults, never had a problem in telling me that he loved me, no matter what," Louisa retorted.

Martin was tempted to point out that seeing as Terry Glasson was a liar and a thief, that really didn't count for a lot in his book, but wisely decided to keep that thought to himself, although he was unable to prevent a very sceptical look clouding his features, which was not missed by Louisa.

"You can scoff all you like Martin Ellingham, but I'm afraid it's something that's very important to me. I want this child to grow up knowing that it's loved, in a happy, secure environment, and if that means with just one parent rather than two because the father refuses to face up to his phobia regarding emotional expression, then so be it."

With that she scooped up her case of clothes and disappeared into the bathroom to get dressed, shutting the door firmly behind her.

Martin just stared at her retreating figure, bemused, confused and bewildered, as he so often was when it came to Louisa and 'feelings'.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination**

**The Gravel Road**

**Chapter 9**

As Louisa got dressed in the bathroom, she wondered if she'd overreacted, whether she was being unfair to Martin. Actions speak louder than words, she told herself. He'd come up to London to be here with her, he'd told her that he wanted her to come back to Cornwall, he'd asked her to marry him, said that he'd try to be a good father to their baby. What more did she want for goodness sake? She thought of Danny, and how his glib 'I love you Lou' used to irritate her with just how frequently he trotted it out – and of course, in the end it had meant nothing.

But part of her argued that it was no good ignoring doubts that would just fester – no, it was best to address them now, get them out in the open before it was too late. And it wasn't as if what she was asking was unreasonable surely, just for him to quietly whisper in her ear 'I love you' - she wasn't asking him to shout it from the roof tops. But because she really hoped that they could work things out between them, she wasn't prepared to give up on Martin just yet, so she decided to back off from this confrontation – for now.

Martin sat on the bed as he waited for Louisa to reappear from the bathroom. Why was it that people in general, and women in particular, always felt it so important to talk so much about their stupid bloody feelings anyway? She _knew_ how he felt, he'd told her that he wanted to marry her, to look after her and the baby, that he'd never cheat or lie to her. So why did she need him to spell out every tiny little detail with slushy words? But then the other side of him argued very logically that if all it took to get her to agree to marry him were some stupid words, why was it that he couldn't just bring himself to say them to mollify her?

He looked up as she came out of the bathroom, now fully dressed. He wondered with some trepidation what was coming from Louisa next, but he was quite pleasantly surprised.

"I'm sorry Martin. Things got a bit heated didn't they? Maybe we should take a break, go out for a walk, get some fresh air – what do you think?" she asked.

"Yes, I think that would be a very good idea," Martin thankfully agreed, relieved that he seemed to have been let off the hook - for now anyway.

**xXx**

They spent the rest of the day strolling around the sights of London. They walked along to St Paul's Cathedral, and spent a long time wandering around together, companionably admiring the wonderful architecture and paintings, discussing the various merits of different works of art, but studiously avoiding any further talk of personal matters for the moment.

Martin was not impressed by the very modern piece of sculpture by Henry Moore entitled 'Mother and Child' that Louisa found intriguing. He much preferred the more traditional type of works of art, and he spent a long time admiring William Holman Hunt's classic painting 'The Light of the World'. '_The figure of Christ knocking on a door that opens from inside suggests that God can only enter our lives if we invite Him in_', Louisa read out the interpretation of the painting to him. Neither of them were very religious, but she felt that the words could so easily represent Martin's dilemma – would he ever invite anyone into his life fully, she wondered?

Then they took a walk across the millennium bridge. It had been a beautiful crisp December day with a bright blue clear sky, but now in the early evening, Louisa thought that London looked at its most beautiful, with the lights from so many historic buildings glinting in the dark. Eventually Martin suggested that they make their way back – he'd made a reservation for dinner at the hotel where they were staying. It was a very highly rated restaurant and was one of the main reasons he'd chosen that hotel. Although they'd stopped for a sandwich earlier, he suspected that Louisa's very healthy appetite would very soon be kicking in again.

**xXx**

""Was everything to your satisfaction sir?"

"Yes. It was reasonably adequate," Martin replied briefly, as he signed the tab. Louisa had disappeared in the direction of the Ladies room while he finished his coffee and settled up.

Edith Montgomery's ears pricked up at the sound of the deep gruff voice and brusque manner. That sounded like…surely it couldn't be? Her curiosity piqued, she looked over in the direction of where the voice came from. She took a moment to register the features of the man in question. Yes, she hadn't been mistaken, it _was _him.

"Ellinhgam! It _is_ you, I thought I recognised your voice. Well, well, after all these years!" she exclaimed, as she went over to his table. She quickly took in the fact that although his cropped hair had more than a few silver glints in it, and his face had a few wrinkles now, he'd actually worn rather well in the intervening years. He was one of those lucky band of men whose looks improve with age, and he now looked mature and distinguished rather than the gawky young man he'd been when they'd been at Medical School together.

"Edith," Martin acknowledged, surprised but with not the slightest hint of pleasure in his voice.

"What are you up to these days? Head of Surgery somewhere, no doubt? I lost track of everyone while I was in Canada, and well, since I've been back I've been so busy setting up the Montgomery Fertility Clinic that I just haven't had time to look any one up," Edith explained, as she sat herself down opposite him at the table.

"Fertility Clinic – where are you setting that up?" Martin side stepped her question about him by asking about her, remembering only too well that her ambition had always been to run her own clinic specialising in IVF.

"Oh here in London of course, that's where the money is, especially if one is lucky enough to bag a prestigious Harley Street address," she informed him.

"Which I assume you have – bagged a Harley Street location that is," he asked.

"Of course. Nothing but the best will do, you know me – well you certainly used to know me, very well indeed as I recall," Edith reminded him, placing her small slender hand on top of his much bigger one. She couldn't help remembering just how skilled those large, yet very soft hands had been all those years ago. She'd taught him well, he'd been a very able and enthusiastic pupil, she recalled.

Louisa returned from the loo to see that a red headed woman had taken her seat opposite Martin, smiling up at him now as she stroked his hand. She felt a surge of jealousy rush through her, but she managed to keep her cool, plastering a big fake smile on her face as she walked up to the table. No one was going to be able to accuse her of being an undignified country yokel in a top class restaurant like this.

But as she reached the table and looked in askance at Martin, she was shocked to see the expression on his face – he couldn't have looked more stony faced or icy if he'd tried. His eyes were like granite, hard and cold, and she realised with relief that there was no need for her to feel jealous of this woman, Martin was clearly not interested in her.

"Ah Louisa, there you are," Martin stood up to greet her, his face now softening as he looked at her, and the woman's hand dropped away, ignored by him.

"Aren't you going to introduce us then Ellingham?" Edith enquired, a supercilious smile playing around her lips as she stared at Louisa. Her look took in the fact that Louisa was clearly a few years younger than him, with long dark hair that she was wearing loose, and that she was dressed in a bright red wrap dress that was rather vulgar in her eyes, missing entirely the fact that Martin's eyes lit up when he looked at her. She pointedly straightened her already immaculate black suit jacket and brushed an imaginary speck of dust from her white silk blouse.

"Err…yes, Edith, this is Louisa Glasson, she's…" Martin hesitated, really wishing he could introduce Louisa as his wife, or at least his fiancé.

"A close friend of Martin's," Louisa filled in for him, as she slipped her arm through his, hoping that for once he wouldn't object to this little display of affection from her - she just couldn't help herself.

"Ah right, I see, a _close_ _friend_, but one obviously not from around these parts_,_" Edith remarked, having noted Louisa's Cornish accent with a sneer. "Well, Ellingham and I were at Medical School together, where I think you could say we were a bit more than '_close friends'_ isn't that right?"

"It was all a very long time ago Edith," Martin told her coldly.

Louisa felt Martin stiffen as he spoke, and it was very obvious that he did not have fond memories of this 'Edith' woman. Louisa looked at her, noting her short spiky red hair, her very slim angular figure shown off to perfection in her well cut, expensive trouser suit, but most of all her smug, self assured attitude. She instantly loathed her, and also knew that Edith felt the same way about her. It was an instinctive reaction, not controlled by logic, just by a gut feeling. Like the first day at school, Louisa thought, when you looked round, and there were some people that you knew you would get on with – and others that you never would. Edith was most definitely one of the latter.

"Look, I'll give you my card, why don't you give me call so that we can arrange to meet and catch up," Edith offered, totally ignoring Louisa as she reached into her exquisite designer handbag.

"Not necessary Edith. I really don't see any point in us 'catching up', do you?" Martin stated, as he looked over at Louisa and indicated to her his intention for them to leave.

"Suit yourself, Ellingham. Maybe we'll bump into each other again, you never know…" Edith said coolly, ignoring his obvious snub.

"Not if I see her first, hell will freeze over before I'd spend any time with her," Martin muttered under his breath as he ushered Louisa towards the exit as they made their way back to their room.

**xXx**

Louisa waited until they were safely in their room before turning to him,

"Do you want to tell me what that was all about hmm?" she gently asked, realising that this was going to be a very sensitive issue – he'd not said a word on the way up, but had been very tense and quiet.

"Not really, no," Martin replied, not wanting to dredge up memories from a time in his life that he'd managed to keep deeply buried for many years now.

"Oh come on, _spill_. I take it Edith was your girlfriend at Medical School, and that things didn't work out between you?" Louisa gently prompted, determined that she wasn't going to let him clam up about something that had clearly had a major impact on him, and maybe went some way to explaining the man he was today.

"You could say that I suppose," Martin replied bitterly, as Louisa led him over to sit on the bed, and then sat down next to him.

"Please tell me, tell me about you and Edith. I'd really like to know, to understand," she pleaded with him, as she tenderly placed her hand on his shoulder to try and convey that she wasn't just being nosy, but that she was concerned for him.

Martin turned to look at her, and saw how sincere she was. _'__You've never trusted me enough to really open up have you?' _ Louisa's words from this morning rang in his ears. So maybe this was the time, this was finally when he should unburden himself, and trust Louisa with his most private torment that might help her to understand why he found some aspects of their relationship so hard.

"Alright, if you really want to know, I'll tell you the whole sorry story," he sighed.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination**

**The Gravel Road**

**Chapter 10**

Louisa sat with Martin on the bed and listened intently as he started to speak.

"I won't bore you with all the details, but suffice to say I didn't have a particularly happy childhood. I didn't enjoy my time at any of the boarding schools I was sent to, the only respite was when I spent my summers at Joan's, but even that stopped when I was about ten years old. No one explained why to me, so I assumed it was something that I'd done, or that I was too much trouble, especially as I frequently wet the bed. I only discovered fairly recently that my father had found out that Joan was having an affair and he didn't approve, so to punish her he stopped sending me down, not caring that it also punished me."

Louisa had gathered from what little Martin had told her about his upbringing that it hadn't exactly been a loving family environment. And the fact that he had refused point blank to even consider inviting his parents to their wedding had confirmed to her that they were not a close family.

"It wasn't until I went to Medical School that I finally felt as if I'd found my place in the world, somewhere where I belonged, where I fitted in. I was no longer a square peg in a round hole; I was still considered somewhat odd, but I was surrounded by other people who were equally fascinated by all things medical, and as I was a brilliant student and excelled in all areas, I was accepted and respected."

Louisa realised that Martin wasn't boasting, merely stating a fact.

"And that's where I met Edith. She too was a brilliant student, and we used to compete for top place in exams. It wasn't long before we started studying together because we had so much in common and our minds were so similar, with our shared love of medicine and science. It was such a new experience for me, to have a friend, a companion, someone that I could talk to on the same level, unlike at school where I was always considered a loner and a weirdo. We very soon became a couple as we embarked on a relationship.

I'd never had a girlfriend before or any kind of a relationship with the opposite sex. Although naturally I knew all the theoretical side of things, I was a completely inexperienced virgin. Somehow that seemed to fascinate Edith, and she took great pleasure in initiating me in all matters sexual. She was very uninhibited and not in the least bit shy about her body, instructing me as to exactly what she wanted me to do, and how to improve my performance for maximum pleasure. I gave these studies every bit as much attention as my academic ones, as any young, hot blooded male would have done."

Louisa shuddered, horrified at the thought of _that_ woman and Martin, and of how he had acquired the skills to become such a good lover. But she kept quiet, not wanting to interrupt Martin now that the floodgates had finally opened up and he was in full flow. However, Martin had seen the look on her face, and so stopped himself from elaborating any further about how broadminded and adventurous Edith had been, the kinky little games she'd made him play – there had been very little they hadn't tried out.

"And so I was besotted, acting like a stupid teenager with his first crush, believing I had found my soul mate. I declared my love for her, told her that I loved her, even wrote her stupid love poetry. She just laughed at me, indulged me, and patted me on the head like a puppy dog. I think she was probably a bit taken aback when I proposed to her, surprising her with a diamond engagement ring that I'd picked out, just like the one my mother wore. She accepted it, but warned me that she was in no rush to get married. I just assumed that we would marry once we were both qualified and had our career paths sorted.

I took Edith down to meet Joan one Christmas. They didn't really get on, but I wasn't worried. We were going to be based in London, so we wouldn't be seeing Joan very often anyway. My parents even met her, seemed to almost approve of her. Of course my dad was all over her like a rash, he always did have an eye for a pretty young girl, and Edith was a pretty little thing in her own way, or at least I thought so at the time, when I was under her spell.

My dad had numerous affairs over the years, that was one of the main reasons why I made a point of not introducing him to you that time they visited me in Cornwall – I couldn't stand to see him try his charms on you, it would have been too embarrassing to have to watch you fend him off. The whole visit was a disaster from start to finish. That was the last time I saw either of them. My mother told me that I'd ruined her marriage, ruined her life just by having the nerve to be being born, that it was my fault that dad had lost interest in her. After that I really couldn't see any reason to keep in touch with her any more, and I haven't seen or heard from either of my parents from that day to this."

Louisa had been quite hurt at the time that Martin hadn't introduced her to his parents, but maybe now she understood why. She'd picked up from Joan that Martin's mother was not exactly the maternal type but even so, she was shocked to hear how his mother had treated her only son – what a horrid woman she must be, and she was glad now that she'd resisted the urge to go behind Martin's back to contact her when they'd been arranging their wedding.

"Looking back I think Edith just liked the fact that she could dominate me, and control me even though she was physically such a tiny person compared to a big chap like me. That amused her I think. She always liked to be in control, to set the pace of things, to take the lead, and at the time I was quite happy to let her."

Louisa could quite believe that, having seen the arrogant manner of the woman at first hand.

"And so we graduated and started to specialise in the areas we wanted to work in – gynaecology for Edith, vascular surgery for me. A few times I brought up the subject of us getting married, but Edith always avoided making any commitment, telling me there was no rush, and as I was so busy at the time I didn't really worry about it.

And then much to her horror, Edith discovered she was pregnant. She was absolutely furious about it. She'd been trying out a new type of pill at the time, a very low dose one from America that hadn't been approved for general use in this country. She always took it as regular as clockwork to ensure that there was no possibility of a slip up, so the only reason that she could put the failure down to was a very slight tummy upset that she'd had, and so then she blamed me for not having thought to use a condom as a back up. I tried to reassure her, told her that I was happy for her to go ahead and have the baby seeing as we planned to get married anyway, foolishly thinking that as she specialised in gynae she would be quite happy to have a baby of her own. She soon put me right about that.

'_You don't seriously think that I'm going to go ahead and have this wretched baby do you? Do I look like the maternal type? I've worked far too hard on my career to give up on it now for some snivelling baby. And anyway, what on earth makes you think I'd want a baby like you, Ellingham – can you imagine me having to deal with a child that had all your hang ups and problems – no thank you.'_

She couldn't get to the abortion clinic quick enough, she pulled strings to get an appointment as soon as she possibly could. When I tried to protest and urged her not to do anything hasty that she might regret later, she coolly informed me that the only thing she had any regrets about was telling me about the pregnancy, and that if I was going make a big deal about it, it made no difference because I had no rights under the law in any case . To her, the baby was just a nuisance and an inconvenience that had to be got rid of as soon as possible, dealt with like a nasty infection. An infection that I'd given her.

While all this was going on, she received a fantastic offer for a position in Canada, to work under one of the most respected professionals in her field, so of course an ambitious woman like Edith was never going to turn that down to marry me and have my baby, no matter what I said.

'_It's been fun while it lasted Ellingham, but it's just been a fling, a bit of fun. You didn't seriously expect us to actually get married did you, surely you realised that all this talk of love was just bedroom talk. I love you, I love Edith – actually it's all been rather pathetic listening to you bleating on all the time about love.'_ I can hear her laughing and mocking me to this day, and I'm sorry but I just can't bring myself to say those words now."

Louisa's hand shot to her mouth in shock at how cruel Edith had been to Martin. She hadn't just broken his heart; she'd stamped on it and smashed it into smithereens.

"So she had her abortion and went off to Canada while I stayed in London. I was lucky enough to have made a couple of good friends by that time, one of them being Chris Parsons. In time he helped me to see that Edith was in fact a cold hearted, manipulative bitch who'd just used me to amuse herself for a while. She'd been making fun of me behind my back apparently, and there were even rumours of her sleeping with other men – I don't know if that was true or not, and by then I no longer cared.

So after that experience of 'love', I decided that I certainly wouldn't be bothering with it any more, that I was much better off just being on my own, not having to rely on, or trust anyone else ever again. Instead I concentrated on becoming the top vascular surgeon in the country. And I did. I pushed myself to the limit, working all hours, taking on all the most difficult and complicated cases that were referred to me from all over the country, even from abroad.

And then all that came crashing down around me, when the wretched haemophobia kicked in. Looking back I realise that I had some kind of a breakdown brought on by stress and overwork, but at the time it just seemed like another cruel blow that I'd been dealt. The only thing that I was ever any good at taken away from me. And so that's how I ended up in Cornwall as your GP. Not something that I had ever thought I would end up doing in my wildest dreams."

"Oh Martin," Louisa murmured as she put her arms around him to console him.

"And then I met you, this irritating schoolteacher, the only one on the interviewing panel who argued against me becoming the GP, who kept on being a thorn in my side. And yet I found myself attracted to you, and unbelievably it seemed that maybe you were even attracted to me as well, for some incomprehensible reason, despite the fact that I seemed to be able to offend you so very easily without ever meaning to. But I fought hard against the attraction. Once bitten, twice shy. I certainly didn't fancy going through all that angst again, and anyway, I knew that once you got to know the real me, you wouldn't be interested anyway. It's common knowledge among male doctors that there are some women who have a 'thing' for doctors, so I put it down to that and I tried my hardest to resist you and not to get involved. But in the end I couldn't help myself. I'd find myself just trying to catch a glimpse of you from a safe distance, and staring at you, thinking about you, dreaming about you. And of course I ended up asking you to marry me – and then stuffing everything up because I lost my nerve."

Martin now returned her hug as Louisa tenderly kissed his cheek.

"And you got pregnant too, but being the complete opposite of Edith, you instantly loved and wanted this baby,_ my_ baby, despite the fact that it was unplanned, because you are such a loving, caring and amazing woman. And I'm sorry that I just can't say what you want me to say…"

"Sshh. It's not important, words aren't necessary any more. Actions speak louder than words," Louisa told him as she gently put her finger to his lips.

Everything made perfect sense now. She finally got the picture, she understood why Martin was the way he was, what had caused the struggles and difficulties all through their complicated relationship over the years.

To show him that she meant what she said, she tenderly kissed his lips, and then started to pull his tie undone, sliding it off very slowly. Martin took the hint, and returned her kiss as he pulled the tie of her wrap dress undone and slipped his hands inside and around her waist. They slowly undressed each other, sensuously kissing and touching, lingering and savouring, looking at each other intently. There was no need to rush things, and so they took their time with their lovemaking, having reached a new level of trust in each other.

Both understood now that their baby would be brought up as part of a very close and loving family.

_To be concluded with a final chapter._


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination**

**The Gravel Road**

**Chapter 11**

'_**True love travels on a gravel road. It's not the journey that's important, it's the destination that matters.'**_

_**Roger Fenn**_

Louisa smiled contentedly as she lay back in the hospital bed, watching as Martin sat cradling his new born son in the chair opposite, too choked up with emotion to be able to say very much at all.

Martin had been an absolute nightmare when the baby had decided to come rather early – and rather fast. The baby hadn't been due for another couple of weeks, and he'd been called out to make a home visit up on the moor, where there was no signal for his mobile phone. And of course that was when things had suddenly kicked off with her waters breaking and strong contractions starting straight away. Unable to get hold of Martin, and fearful that she could give birth on the journey over, she'd been unwilling to call Joan to take her to hospital, so she'd dialled 999 for an ambulance to get her to hospital. Martin had finally got the urgent voicemail messages she'd left and had arrived at the hospital at the same time as she'd arrived in the ambulance. Completely rattled at how all his carefully prepared plans for the safe delivery of their baby had gone to pot, he'd shouted and blustered at all the staff as they made their way in, telling them how to do their jobs, calling them incompetent and useless, until she'd been on the verge of telling him to go back outside to calm down.

But then things had suddenly become very serious when she'd felt the urgent need to push, as their baby started the final phase of his entrance into the world. And at that moment Martin had focused and calmed down, and had been at her side to give her his full support, until at last the safe arrival of their son was announced by the sound of him crying as he took his first breath, just as dawn was breaking on that summer morning.

The midwife that Martin had been particularly rude to now looked over at him, and saw tears rolling down his cheeks as he held his son, so she mellowed enough to smile over at him. She'd seen it so many times before, these big, gruff men overwhelmed by the sheer strength of the emotions that surged through them when they first held their baby in their arms. Mother Nature was pretty clever really.

"Right Mrs Ellingham, get you that cup of tea shall I, now that you're all sorted and comfy?" she offered. It had been a normal, straight forward birth, no problems at all with either mum or baby.

"That would be lovely, thank you," said Louisa, still fascinated to watch Martin's reaction. She'd worked out a while ago that Martin's problem wasn't that he didn't care, or that he didn't feel emotions; quite the opposite in fact, he cared very deeply indeed, so much so that it scared him and that's what had driven him to shut out people in the past, scared because he felt so out of control.

**xXx**

She'd returned to Portwenn at the end of the school term, just in time for Christmas. To start with she'd stayed at Martin's house with him, until Mr. Strain had vacated White Rose Cottage and they'd moved in there. It was fine for now, but they knew eventually they would need somewhere larger. They'd got married very quietly at Bodmin Registry Office, officially because it was the one nearest to them, but in any case, the 'Bodmin' connection had seemed quite appropriate, all things considered. After the previous fiasco, they'd both agreed to keep this wedding very quiet and low key. However, Holly had insisted on coming down from London to be a witness, feeling that she'd earned the right because of her role in giving Louisa a rather large nudge in the right direction.

"Glad you came to your senses Lou. Best thing all round, although I am sorry to be losing such an excellent teacher," Holly had said, as she'd kissed her friend to congratulate her after the brief ceremony.

"Yes, well, we would have got there and worked things out in the end anyway I'm sure," Louisa had replied in a somewhat prickly manner, finding her friend her usual rather bossy and interfering self. No doubt Holly was relieved to have her spare room back, and not to have to deal with the scandal of an unmarried pregnant teacher at her school, Louisa was under no illusions about that either.

"Umm…thanks, you know…for making Louisa phone me," Martin had mumbled, as Holly had reached up to peck his cheek too. He couldn't really say that he liked the woman, but he was eternally grateful that she had pushed things along in the way that she had.

"Yes, well, call it the serendipity affect if you like, you saved my life so that I could play Fairy Godmother to you and Lou," she'd told him. Holly had warmed towards Martin, seeing as how he'd done the right thing by Louisa in her book. Maybe he could introduce her to some of his old consultant colleagues. Time was ticking by and she'd worked her way through all of the eligible men of her acquaintance, with still no luck in acquiring a decent husband.

Joan was thrilled to see Martin and Louisa back together, having felt rather guilty that she might have influenced Martin when she'd tried to console him by telling him that '_She was never going to make you happy - chalk and cheese the pair of you_' when they'd split up after the concert. And she was over the moon at the thought of this baby that she was going to be able get her hands on now. Most of the villagers had been surprised when they'd heard about Louisa's pregnancy, but Martin discovered that they now seemed to hold him in a new regard, because it meant that underneath that pompous exterior, he was actually a normal red blooded male who'd got their Miss Glasson up the duff. But it was OK with them because he was doing the decent thing and marrying her.

Louisa had gone back to work at Portwenn School, ending up as Head Mistress again, of which Martin strongly disapproved, when Mr. Strain was quietly pensioned off. But Louisa was determined to carry on as she had originally planned, whatever he said about it being too much for her. And he was a fine one to talk. Much as he claimed to dislike all the disgusting and annoying villagers, he worked incredibly hard on their behalf, with long surgery hours, evenings and weekends spent researching the latest treatments, all the while continuing to make his own house calls. Never having had a thing called a social life before, he struggled to make time for this now, having been used to such a solitary existence for so many years. Neither had found it very easy to adapt to living together, and it certainly hadn't been a bed of roses all the time. They still argued and had numerous misunderstandings, but nothing serious enough to cause a major rift between them, and certainly neither would want to go back to living on their own again.

**xXx**

Having struggled to get his emotions back under control, Martin came over and sat on the edge of the hospital bed next to Louisa as he carefully handed the baby back to her, leaning over to gently kiss her cheek. She smiled as she felt his stubbly, unshaven cheek brushing against hers, a consequence of his having been up all night. She liked to see him not as perfectly groomed as usual; it made him seem more human. He tried to speak, but the words just wouldn't come out properly.

"Umm…I…just wanted…he's…you…" he tripped clumsily over his words.

"It's OK Martin, I know," Louisa reassured him. She cuddled the baby up to her so naturally, as if she'd been doing it all her life, Martin noticed.

"So, are we agreed then? On his name I mean? I think it'll suit him, don't you?" Louisa looked at him enquiringly.

"Err… yes, I suppose so," Martin agreed. He studied his son's funny screwed up little face again, actually thinking that it was hard to imagine quite what suited him at the moment. But he'd learnt enough during these past few months living with Louisa to know that thoughts like these were probably best kept to himself, so he refrained from voicing it out loud.

"Welcome to the world, Alexander Martin Ellingham." Louisa whispered, as she tenderly kissed the baby's head.

No one was ever going to tell him that he wasn't wanted. No one was ever going to shut him in the cupboard under the stairs, or hit him with a belt or a table tennis bat. He would not be sent away to boarding school, and no one would ever be allowed to get away with bullying him. And he would always know that he was loved very much indeed by _both_ his parents.

**The End**

_**Authors Note**_

_Some people have commented that the Martin I portray in my stories is too 'nice', and that he wouldn't say as much as he does. In my defence I would reply that I've largely based him on the series one version of the Doc, the one who quite often leaves his jacket undone and even takes it off sometimes; who has a wonderful dry sense of humour with some great one line retorts, and who attends Elaine's Dad's wedding to Carmen even though he doesn't have to, and where he even tries to pay Louisa a compliment. H__e also opened up enough to both Louisa and Roger Fenn to explain to them all about his 'blood thing'. __And finally, why would Louisa bother with such a rude and unpleasant man if he didn't at least try to make some sort of an effort with her?_

_That's just my take on things, we all have our own opinions and interpretations, and that's what makes it all so interesting reading all the different FF._

_Thanks to Little Guinea for all her help, and to Rob for reminding me of the word 'Serendipity', which I then had to use in a story somewhere!_

_Thanks to everyone for taking the time to read this story. It would be very nice if you would now take the time to leave a constructive review. Happy Docmartinitis xxx_


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